


Hoenn News Tabloids always have a field day.

by Otaku553, tamagoyaki



Series: 🎥 [Hoenn News Records] 📰 [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime), 鬼滅の刃 | Kimetsu no Yaiba (Manga)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Pokemon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-10-04 14:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20472398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otaku553/pseuds/Otaku553, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamagoyaki/pseuds/tamagoyaki
Summary: It's an indicator of the sanity of the people in this region, Giyuu thinks bitterly, that they have chosen him as Champion.Alternatively,What crack was Urokodaki smoking on when he put him in charge of Kamado Tanjirou?





	1. Chapter 1

Giyuu stops after he’s barely taken one step back within his Secret Base.

…Wait.

Something isn’t quite right about this.

Dragonair’s soft croon of concern beside him agrees with that thought.

Because no matter how he looks at this place – from the Japanese separators to the tasteful tapestry decorating the walls to the huge and plush cushions and pokedolls propped all around – Giyuu can see neither tail nor hide of the sleazy, metre-tall trash pile that had been his cosy bachelor’s pad.

…He must have gotten the wrong room. But then again, the last he checked, didn’t Secret Islet just have one (1) base?

The culprit is still there, feet kneeling, back hunched over the treasure cove that is Giyuu’s Fashion Disaster ChestTM (loathfully named by Makomo, because no disciple brother of hers should have such horrid fashion sense).

Giyuu doesn’t dare to even inch forward, opting instead to stare at that teenager’s burgundy-splayed back with dismay.

“…Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“Eh—I—Ah—!” The teen nearly collides with the table top’s edge as he pulls his face out.

Giyuu desperately hopes this isn’t another “want to have your babies” fan or “gotta bag this air up. Ya know, cuz just selling the air that the Hoenn Champion has breathed in has gotta make me big bucks”-fan.

The boy, to Giyuu’s utter devastation, looks somewhat cute with dust-blackened nose and agreeable soft dainty features under those long splaying burgundy locks. Eyes as bright as heated coal go wide with surprise at the sight of him.

Giyuu would be enamoured if not for the fact that he has to make a call to Jenny for him.

“G-Giyuu-san—! This isn’t what it looks like!” The boy calls out, breathless in his presence.

“Explain then.” Because Giyuu really doesn’t want to make a report on a boy with such bright future. He obviously has a good path ahead of him if he’s able to clean up Giyuu’s absolute mess of a pigsty.

The boy hesitates. Then, he throws himself in the direction of his travelling bag the moment he ascertains Giyuu’s not about to pull a Suckerpunch on him, flinging sweatshirts (which Giyuu ducks. And do not belong to him) and potions to dig up an explanation.

“This!” Triumphant over the war he waged with his backpack, the boy brandishes a scroll. “This is a letter that Urokodaki-san gave me to be handed to you! Inside, you’ll find all the explanation you need for our situation!”

It is evidence of how desensitized he is to all things Urokodaki that Giyuu takes the scroll in hand with only a wary glance at the boy.

Inside, written in traditional calligraphy, because obviously, _Urokodaki_, his previous master explains in no short words that this boy, Kamado Tanjirou, is another disciple in his charge.

Due to neither wanting to pass on or be passed on the burden of the “Water Gym Leader” slash “Champion Raiser Urokodaki”, their relationship is stowed away from the public (which is impressive, given Giyuu’s first-hand experience of how persistent those vultures can be).

The boy is apparently a very accomplished person within Hoenn. (“Any person has got to be living under a rock in the last three months if they do not know him.” Well, Giyuu has been living under a rock, apparently.) He has been staying with Urokodaki up till now, but due to Circumstances – Namely, The Vultures – he is now unable to take residence at the Urokodaki Dojo.

The last section of the scroll basically assures him that Kamado Tanjirou is fully 100% independent and does not require any cooking for, taking care of, or any of the sort.

Urokodaki begs him not to bring the media’s attention to a serious case of Champion-inflicted food poisoning.

“…”

Giyuu lowers the scroll to stare at the nervously shifting boy.

“E-Erm.” It’s utterly unfair, how adorable this creature can be even when he is close-eyed with unspoken sympathy, shifting feet to feet.

“Even if it’s only for a short while, I’ll be in your care, Giyuu-san,” Tanjirou twiddles his fingers, obviously thinking of what else to say. He bends an absolutely intimidating ninety degrees from waist down and raises his voice in a Tengen-esque way. “I’ll do all the cleaning and cooking and washing of dishes, so—! Please do not kick me out!”

“You’re accepted.” Giyuu gives him a thumbs up.

And he walks off to mind his own business, like the tactless bastard he is, oblivious to the dumbfounded stare (“Eh?”) behind him.

Because what else is there to say once that is settled, right?

(“The best comparison,” Urokodaki had sighed, placing a hand on Tanjirou’s shoulders. “Is to treat him like a pokemon.”

He’d looked him in the eye, wholly serious.

“You are now entering the habitat of a pokemon which speaks its own language. Do not expect to understand him, for that is how my older disciple trips reporters up with those words he calls a language. Do not be so naïve as to let your guard down either. Giyuu can be delicate as glass and sensitive as a maiden on the most unexpected of days.” Urokodaki said grimly, watching his youngest student take down notes like on all things pokemon.

When he is done, Tanjirou let out a determined “mh-hm!”, nodding with an optimistic smile, “I understand! In other words, I should lure Giyuu-san with bait, right?!”

Urokodaki has the feeling of something not being quite right but he nodded. “Indeed.”

Miles away in another city, the former Water Gym Leader looks up to the sky and wonders how his student is doing.

It’s not Tanjirou who he worries about. But just... the other one.)


	2. Chapter 2

Cohabitation has never felt sweeter than mere days after it has begun.

It’s so sweet in fact, Giyuu wonders blandly if those couples have only been exaggerating on the cons of this arrangement.

“Giyuu-san, breakfast has been made!” Tanjirou would smile and greet him on most dreary mornings when Giyuu hauls himself to the low dinner table indoors.

‘Breakfast’ consists of tamagoyaki with a side of magikarp and seedot and the occasional pecha berry-treated oddish.

Tanjirou prefers using a mixture of pokemon-friendly berries to use in their two-person share. He also has a wonderful grasp over cooking outdoors in flames – hardcore style, without any pokemon.

Giyuu’s so impressed the first time he catches Tanjirou boiling water in a pot, he intentionally forgets the batteries for their electric kettle the next few times just to be able to see Tanjirou lighting up a fire again. (Giyuu never wakes up early enough to see breakfast be made, and he never returns early enough for dinner’s turn.) He takes to hiding the lighter, just so Tanjirou can display his pyrokinetic skill with a twig and a rock.

Food aside (though food is a great factor, because Tomioka Giyuu has never feasted as luxuriously in the past decade as he did the past seven days of his life), Tanjirou is also amazingly minimalistic in the other parts of his life, traditional separators, tapestries and fluffy stuffed toys notwithstanding.

He cooks. He boils water for their baths. (Say “Bye bye” to Water Gun Baths!) He does not snore in his sleep. He even sleeps in a compressible futon that doesn’t take up much space! And not to mention, he makes bentos for lunch.

Kamado Tanjirou really does come with a 100% guarantee seal on him for being low maintenance.

Even if there is a one year warranty, Giyuu thinks he might never have to use it.

That’s why, it also comes as a bit of surprise when his Elite Four disciple sister points out,

“Isn’t that worrying?”

Giyuu chokes a bit on the rice and the chopsticks between his teeth at that.

“…Why?” He asks once he regains his composure.

“I’m not really sure. But…my impression of Tanjirou-kun the last I saw him was that he isn’t the type of child to be all independent and isolated. He’s more… naïve, and the type to rely on the people around him.” Makomo says in that ever-present drifty manner of hers.

“Well, can you really blame him for not relying on this guy?” Sabito drawls, shrugging a fantastically bolstering shoulder at him. “I mean, just _look_ at him.”

Both his disciple siblings turn to stare at him for one dead silent moment.

“I hate you.” Giyuu scowls.

“Don’t blame others for your own faults.” Makomo scolds in a murmur.

“Men shouldn’t whine over their own mistakes.” Sabito agrees, snatching a piece of karaage out of Giyuu’s box. Giyuu’s dead fish-eyed glare increases tenfold in animosity. He still has the nerve to reproach him sternly thereafter, like a Dad. “As your friend, I am duty-bound to inform you that your communication skill is sorely lacking. When is the last time you said something to someone outside the job besides the standard greetings?”

“………”

Giyuu contemplates embarrassing himself over revealing the last time he had accidentally botched his disguise in public and settled his fans with a surreptitious nod and murmured (a very irritated) “Sssh!”

Then, recalling the ensuing mass fainting incident that had Tengen screaming from the roofs for his city being ‘attacked’ by Team Magma or Aqua (no, no, it’s just him), in public!, Giyuu decides that is better left unmentioned for the rest of eternity.

“Point.” Sabito declares.

Point negated.

“To begin with, everything would have been easy if you had accompanied us last time we returned to Shishou’s dojo.” Makomo, as usual, has a smile on her face at the mention of her favourite teacher.

(Peh. Teacher’s pet.)

“It would have been less awkward if you were there with us when we first met Tanjirou-kun.” Seeming amused at the memory which only Giyuu does not share, she giggles softly into a hand. “Tanjirou-kun was so cute, all flustered and stuttering like that.”

“Was he?” Giyuu asks, startled. The image that infiltrates his head is one that he feels decidedly dismayed to have missed out.

“What.” Sabito said evenly, flicking his shoulder. He maintains a stoically cool face that is a prelude to a tease. “Now that our junior is involved, you’re finally feeling more inclined to talk? Whatever happened to being years of friends? Sweet childhood memories softening you up and furthering ties?”

Giyuu stares pointedly at him. “My childhood memories consist mostly of you beating me up with a shinai.”

Childhood traumas caused by terrible friends aside, what’s true is that Giyuu does in fact knows nothing about Kamado Tanjirou.

Let’s start with the basics. What does he know about him?

He knows that Tanjirou hums when he cooks, because that pleasant humming is what drags Giyuu up from the lulls of sleep right when he is staring, dead-eyed, at another stupid torchic doll that he’d ended up hugging in his sleep.

He knows Tanjirou has a penchant for cleaning, which was why he did so the first time Giyuu came home. He also knows Tanjirou seems awfully compelled to accommodate himself to Giyuu’s standards – and boy, doesn’t that make him feel like a terrible roommate now? Whatever happened to being an independent and self-sufficient bachelor?

Giyuu resolves to do something nice for him when he gets off work early later. (Which means dumping unearthly amounts of paperwork on Tengen later. Because the family man clearly shouldn’t be having three wives if he couldn’t do his paperwork himself.)

Then, just as Giyuu is at Lilycove City ready to buy ‘Hoenn’s Best Bouffalant Kabab”, he remembers that he doesn’t even have Tanjirou’s number to call and tell him to cut back on the dinner prep this evening.

Wait, can Tanjirou even eat buffalo?

Giyuu returns empty-handed after having stared at a pikachu doll for minutes on end like a creep and wonders if Tanjirou even _likes_ those dolls, because Giyuu has certainly never seen him hug them.

“Welcome back!” Tanjirou is there, all ready with a pot of stew and noodles, by the smells of it, when Giyuu touches down on Dragonair’s back.

“Giyuu-san, how was work today?” Sparkling burgundies peer up at him kindly like flickering embers.

Giyuu stares at him for a moment.

“How old are you?” Is he even legal?

Tanjirou blinks, stunned, but otherwise handles his question with grace.

“I’m seventeen, going eighteen this year!” He pipes up. Enthusiastic eyes look at Giyuu, almost starved for conversation. “Giyuu-san, you’re twenty-four if I remember correctly, right?”

Giyuu blinks. He nods mutely. Then, “How did you even get here to begin with?” And, “Do you eat bouffalants?” All in serious note.

Tanjirou flounders, stumped by the two questions on such differing wavelengths.

Giyuu has no shame whatsoever and does not even pause to consider conversations IRL is not like the messages he so commonly follows up with his acquaintances.

“I got here by flying! Urokodaki-san gave me a map, and I—don’t exactly have a water type pokemon, you see?” Tanjirou tries to shrug it off, but it’s plain clear to Giyuu how awkward he feels telling that to the Water-Specialized Champion. He still seems hopelessly (adorably) lost.

“And, ah, I… don’t exactly eat pokemon. I’ve been cooking only the ones that have died of natural causes and seemed safe to eat. I… kind of… talk with pokemon, so it doesn’t seem all that right to eat them?”

The end of that sentence comes out awkward with a hitch in his voice.

Tanjirou winces, but it’s all Giyuu can do to not allow his eyes to bulge in shock.

“You speak to pokemon?” Tone even. On the inside, screaming.

Sabito was right. He is an idiot. Why hadn’t he opened his zipped-shut mouth to _talk_ to this boy for a second this past week?

“It’s not really so much of speaking as it is understanding,” Tanjirou amends, tightly coiled tension loosening at Giyuu’s lack of judgement. “I don’t speak _speak_ with them in their language, per say. But when I touch them, I get a feel of what they are feeling, what they want or do not want to tell me.”

He shifts uneasily, looking away, lips pursuing and fingers tightening on the ladle.

“I-It’s a bit hard to explain.” Tanjirou finally says.

Giyuu levels him a look.

“You are a godsend.”

“Eh.” Tanjirou gapes.

But Giyuu is already reaching for his trainer’s belt by then.

“My Milotic has been giving me the attitude lately. Do you think you can help me figure out what the deal is on with him? I will pay you ten thousand pokedollars.” To think there had been a pokemon-whisperer function in this bargain-sale all along. Giyuu really lucked out.

“…Money?!” Tanjirou looks even more shocked. He quickly pushes back the bills into Giyuu’s hand. “No, no! I definitely can’t accept this! It’s truly an honour! _My_ honour to be touching a Champion’s pokemon!” He blurts, flustered.

Giyuu accepts back his money, feeling a little irrationally hurt.

He doesn’t get it. What’s wrong with a couple dollars here and there?

Taking the offered pokeball with both palms cupped together, as if receiving holy water from some high god or goddess up there (Giyuu is amused. Did the boy see him as someone respectable all along? Even after seeing him bushy-haired and dead fish-eyed in the morning?), Tanjirou trembles so much, it looks as though he might fall over with a brush of the wind.

“It’s okay.” Giyuu can’t help but want to reassure. “He won’t bite much.”

That’s not that much of a comfort considering Tanjirou had witnessed him gnawing on Giyuu’s ungamely hair just this morning. So, he adds.

“I’ll prepare a tranquilizer. Just make sure you don’t accidentally release him and anger him enough to squeeze you to death.”

There. Tanjirou looks perfectly calm now, doesn’t he?

“That’s very reassuring.” Tanjirou tells him with blank eyes and smile.

“You’re welcome.” Ha. Take that, Sabito! Low communication abilities his ass.

Lifting the pokeball close up to his forehead, Tanjirou’s hands light up with a fairy-like light that reminds Giyuu plenty enough of the fairy-types Kanroji specializes in. In awe, the Hoenn Champion watches, transfixed, as said pink globes of lights spread out from Tanjirou’s palms and flutter away like a million fireflies.

“You’ve already heard everything Giyuu-san has said.” Tanjirou wastes no time plunging into the subject. He smiles, amicable and easy – freer than when he’s speaking to Giyuu. Giyuu feels his very healthy grudge towards his pokemon building. “But first! I should introduce myself, shouldn’t I? A proper introduction never hurts… even if you already know me!”

Just like this, a one-sided conversation takes place before Giyuu.

Giyuu has half a mind on the fact that their stew is still cooking, the flames on the base of the pot long since dying down to barely-there flickers. As Tanjirou hums and murmurs and croons to his pokeball in soft tones, Giyuu scoops out a bowl of warm gooey dessert (bubur cha cha) on the side for himself. He’ll serve another warm bowl to Tanjirou later.

“Okay. From what I have managed to gather, there are several things that he is unsatisfied about.” Tanjirou says thereafter, a nervous smile on his face to offer the slacking champion.

To the pokeball in Tanjirou’s hands, Giyuu makes a solemn oath, “I shall do what is within my abilities to not garner your prissy attitude again.”

Whatever Tanjirou hears, it makes him wince and smile wryly in sheepish amusement.

“Firstly, he – alongside the other pokemon – wants to be a part of breakfast gatherings now. If not, dinner gatherings.” Tanjirou’s face warps into a fond smile, finger scratching at the side of his cheek in embarrassment. “I didn’t know my cooking was that popular. Apparently, he said the bento piece you gave was delectable? He claims to be a true gourmet.”

Tanjirou’s expression tells of his conflict between feeling flattered and amused at that quoted line.

Giyuu only stares wordlessly at his Milotic’s pokeball for five beats.

“Next time any of you steal food out of my bento, it’ll be dry food in the League for a month.”

“…” Tanjirou wisely chooses not to comment on that. “Next thing here is, he doesn’t want to be called his species name any further. He says that it’s like you introducing yourself as ‘Human’ to everyone you meet.”

Tanjirou looks frankly in agreement of that.

Giyuu takes a deep breath and he shakes his head. “That name is not up for negotiation.”

Before Tanjirou can speak up and ask why, Giyuu cuts him off.

“Do you remember the last time I was asked to name a bridge?”

Resounding silence.

Yeah. So don’t call Giyuu out on that matter unless you wanna be Water 01 again.

“Call me Human if you want.” He can at least offer his pokemon the cheap consolation of not being called like TM’s in public.

“Milotic will take that.” Tanjirou smiles wryly down at the pokeball. “And then, with regards to the third problem…”

(### The following is transcript of what is heard from the view of Kamado Tanjirou ###

_“I am going to screw you over for imposing a non-social life and thereby, an unwilling bachelor life on me.” _Milotic gives off a grudgeful feeling.

Tanjirou is confused, because did he interpret the words wrongly? That seems different from the initial problem Milotic said.

_“You ready? Okay, I’ll begin now by doing this: Mind-reader Boy, this lamentable hunk of a man right here who can’t muster a single shred of manly dignity has a man-crush on you, and he doesn’t even realize it.”_)

He turns a slow pink colour.

This is either going to screw him over or tear his shreds of dignity to pieces.

Awesome.

“Say it.” Giyuu sighs.

“H-H-He said—” Tanjirou chokes out.

“What is it.” Giyuu asks patiently.

“He said to curse you, for making him train just to water gun your baths.” Tanjirou is pink.

(_“I didn’t – but oh, you know what? This works out as well.” _Milotic goes with the flow.

Tanjirou is starting to regret offering to counsel the Champion’s chatty pokemon, because there’s absolutely no way, right?

_“My unseemly trainer who’s been living in a trash heap up till you came along took baths all natural. That is, completely naked. I’m still convinced he likes to flash us, and the raise in our speed is just a hunk of bull to do so. Sometimes, we aim between his legs, because no one wants to catch an eyeful of his junk, and that’s where we end up looking when we’re horror struck. You’d question Stupid’s intelligence after the third time he ended up in the hospital, but—”_

Please. Stop.)

If his Milotic’s attitude is anything to go by, the details are definitely more explicit. (-possibly involving the threat of Water Guns down at the area between his thighs. Multiple times. Followed by a Hydropump.)

Giyuu always knew his decision of making Milotic strength-train to aim his water gun at specific parts of the body will come a full circle. He just did not think karma will come back to bite him in this manner.

Well, if anything, at least he’s certainly fulfilled his goal of growing closer to Tanjirou.

“So,” Giyuu breaks the silence in his own conversational way. “Tanjirou, you like pokedolls?”

Sabito wishes he has his mad conversation skills.


	3. Chapter 3

Tanjirou does not in fact like pokedolls.

That is, to say, (in a flustered almost harried attempt at reassurance after Giyuu stops to give him a wide-eyed look of betrayal as if he’s been told Tanjirou kicks poochyenas for a living) that he does not _hate_ pokedolls.

He just doesn’t get the charm there is to all things soft and fluffy.

(That still doesn’t settle well with Giyuu. But it’s fine. This young one will learn eventually.)

Which brings Giyuu to the question, of course:

Why did Tanjirou decorate his base with so many of these stuffed toys if he does not have a penchant for any of them?

Giyuu stares, blurry-eyed, bushy-haired, at the rumpled torchic doll that he holds in his hands when he awakes again.

The soft squashed thing peers back at him, its high-quality fabric doing an amazing job of holding up against Giyuu’s at times subconscious martial techniques that he throws out in his dreaming – its face is only marginally flatter than the others.

Giyuu carefully props it up on the bedside table. He stares, and he pinches the pitiful-looking beak that is still crooked as a result of his evil deeds.

Giyuu wonders if it’ll be worth the humiliation to ask Kochou Jr. to borrow her suture abilities for a doll.

But no. Doll-mending isn’t the primary focus of this monologue (even if Giyuu shall later misuse his position as Champion and order Elite Four Member Kanae to ask her sister to fix the doll for _his_ non-existent sister).

It is what happens to these dolls that is a point of interest to the intrigued Hoenn Champ.

For more than a couple of days now, starting mere days after Tanjirou’s mass decoration of his precious bachelor’s pad in fact, something strange has been occurring.

Giyuu has been excusing the toppling over of dolls at the most impromptu of times, turning a blind eye to Tanjirou’s exasperated yet fond smile when he simply pats those dolls off and put them back in place, but something unforgiveable has happened approximately twenty-seven hours ago:

Giyuu woke up to something tugging at the torchic doll in his arms, attempting to steal it out of his grasp until he gave the glowing-eyed thing a dead-eyed stare.

It squeaked and fled before Giyuu could get a good look on it.

…So maybe Giyuu might have been on about these dolls because it’s _his_ doll that’s threatened here. Don’t sue him for treasuring the only doll anyone’s ever given him besides his sister. He’s got a depraved childhood growing up, okay?

Point is, something or someone is here on the Secret Islet beside them.

Giyuu never had any pokemon wash up to this place besides the ones carrying his contacts’ messages.

Tanjirou must know about it, because he only ever smiles when he sees those dolls playing Humpty Dumpty on the wall.

It’s official.

There is a ghost in his compound, and it has got to be haunting his too-naïve roommate.

From there, following this conclusion, Giyuu only makes the most rational decision any proper adult in their right mind will do:

He backs out of the room whenever the opportunity arises. Ducks his head back through the room’s entrance three seconds later when enough time has passed. Glares at the fallen doll which may or may not be his Torchic doll, which only fans the icy cold flames when it is. Readjusts said doll. Rinse and repeat.

This seemingly endless cycle continues to the point where Giyuu contemplates summoning Makomo’s Gastly exorcism abilities (even if it doesn’t feel quite right to have his disciple sister entering their shared space). Then Tanjirou raps on the side of his room’s wall one day (they desperately need doors), a concerned look plastered all over his face as he calls out,

“Can we… talk? It’s regarding Nezuko.”

Nezu…ko?

The culprit in question is a mouse child?

There is a mew when Giyuu follows after Tanjirou to the living space, where the comfy sofa and television are placed.

He blanks out.

It’s a Mew.

A _Mew_.

Some part of Giyuu hysterically wonders what sort of parallel world he has stumbled into. Because it’s a Mew.

And it’s in _clothes_.

Tanjirou smiles nervously under his gaze, waving a hand over to the kittenish little _soft and fluffy_ creature. It’s curled up on a pink flowery cushion that’s of the same design as the blanket tied around its neck like a princess cape. There’s a red and white checkered bandana secured on its small right paw, and a thin orange ribbon on its tail.

“Let me introduce you! This is Nezuko, my younger sister.” The pink creature opens its _pink_ eyes and blinks coquettishly at him. “Nezuko, this is our benefactor, Giyuu-san. Say hello and apologize for stealing his doll, alright?”

The mew raises its head, looks at Giyuu, and lets out a mewl that’s decidedly an accusing, unapologetic huff.

“Come on, Nezuko. Don’t be like that!” Tanjirou begs good-naturedly.

It certainly makes one question his sanity the day they see a teen crouch down before a legendary pokemon like that.

Luckily for Tanjirou, Giyuu is Giyuu.

“Tanjirou.” The teen looks up at the call of his name. “Your sister…?”

Giyuu hesitates to outright call the loony bin.

“Ah, that’s right. I was so used to Urokodaki-san knowing our circumstances, I just forgot myself for a moment there.” Tanjirou smiles, rubbing away at his own sheepish face. “When I was much younger, me and my mother managed to find a pokemon egg at the outskirts of town, you see? It wouldn’t be safe to leave it there, so we kept it in hopes of passing it to the pokemon daycare, but… Imagine our surprise when it hatched that same day!”

Tanjirou laughs, looking every bit the visage of a doting older brother.

Giyuu imagines having a child that finds trouble at every turn around the corner and feels boundless sympathy emerge from the cold depths of his icy heart for this boy’s mother.

“…So she imprinted. And you took her in.” Giyuu summarizes, voice clipped.

“That’s right!” Tanjirou beams. His smile is radiant, almost unbearably soft as he looks down at his pokemon. “Ever since we were younger, Nezuko has been raised just like a younger sister to me. There’s never been much of an issue; Nezuko is a psychic type and my telepathy allows me to talk to her whenever we’re close. So, it just didn’t feel right without her being out and about…”

Tanjirou looks up at him with pleading sad eyes, face increasingly distraught in a way that is just unfair.

Giyuu stares for a moment and squats down before the ridiculous low table the Mew is perched primly on. It makes them look like a cult, brother dearest being worshipper the first. (He’s got to make an immediate upgrade for this desk.)

Looking her in the eye, Giyuu sees the undeniable intelligence he spots in every single pokemon he’s passed. As if he’s addressing a human, Giyuu says,

“The torchic doll is mine.”

Silence falls over them.

Goodbye, dignity. Hello, torchic doll.

“I will buy you a new one from Lilycove.” Giyuu promises as if he’s not just snatched a child’s toy from her.

Bright pink eyes light up.

There’s a bouncy sound, not unlike the paw pads of some feline creature bouncing off places, when the soft ribboned tail reaches out and takes his hand from where it’s been propped up casually on his squatting knees.

Nezuko lets out an assured huff, brows furrowed in solemnity as she shakes him on it.

Giyuu gets the feeling that he’s just earned himself an invaluable comrade without intending to.

He shakes back without reservation for her species, like it’s another day of business. (To his total ignorance, his indifference only garners him more approval.) He turns to Tanjirou. Gives a nod full of blank conclusion.

“She may stay.”

Tanjirou visibly slumps in relief.

“That’s great…!” So relieved is the boy, Tanjirou even slinks all the way down into the same squatting position as Giyuu is in, falling on his bum.

“I didn’t know what I’d do if you turned her out to the mightyenas!” He hugs his knees. Tanjirou quirks a gentle smile up at Nezuko’s inclined head. “I guess we don’t have to sleep out in the cold tonight, huh?”

There’s a bubbly laugh in his voice, cracking from relief.

Nezuko stretches out her tail and pats her brother over the head with contented hums.

Giyuu watches over them and wonders what other pokemon Tanjirou might have.

There is an extra pokeball on his belt that most certainly does not belong to Nezuko.

-

It is a good day for all within the Pokemon League whenever they manage to wrap up the paperwork before five.

(Even better yet are days where the trainers actually make it past Makomo and the signal’s given for the Champion to Drop All Paperwork, prep the stage effects. Except, they never really got past Sabito.

Eventually, Giyuu just resigned himself to his paperwork doom.)

Giyuu is on his way home and he still doesn’t have Tanjirou’s Pokenav number.

Not having it is turning out to be all kinds of convenient, because it means he can go ahead and splurge on whatever he likes without concern for the teenager’s flustered protests.

Giyuu is determined to get a move-on to the Berry Master’s Garden (he has priority rights, as Champion) when the alarm sounds for another poor sop trapped in Victory Road.

“Damn it.” Beside him, Sabito halts abruptly, face transforming with into an irritated scowl. “Not another one.”

Even the passing Kanae’s normally pleasant smile is strained.

“What should we do?” She asks, lifting her head to the air. “Shall we head back to work?”

Definitely not.

The fate of Tanjirou’s vegetarian diet depends on him.

A click punctuates the alarm which all Victory Road tryers have been given to sound in times of crisis. From over the speakers which have been blaring a red alarm in their ears, the professional voice of the League’s direct lackeys – the Kakushi – carries through.

“Our apologies for the false alarm just now. The rescue team has just arrived at the Victory Road and treated the trainer in question. No real help has been deemed to be necessary. Please be at ease and have a good day.”

Another click of the microphone comes through before sweet silence descends.

Sabito rubs his face in consternation as he looks away irritably. “…Those vultures.” He mumbles. Obviously, the kakushi were too polite to mention it.

“This is quite a bit of worry, isn’t it?” Kanae frowns, the slightest scrunch of her brows visible (and it’d be enough to drive her fans into a frenzy if they were to see it, Giyuu reflects). “Recently, too many of these reporters have been taking on the Victory Road without proper preparations just to catch a photo of you guys. We really should hasten up on that pre-Victory Road Screening soon.”

Sabito scoffs.

“If just a little interview and questioning of their motives will discourage them, they wouldn’t be giving us such trouble now.” He remarks off-handedly.

“…Remind me again. Who was it whose picture was taken after rushing in recklessly to a red alarm?” Makomo drifts by without pause.

“Don’t remind me.” Sabito massages his temples. “You would do the same!” He calls after her back.

“That’s why I said we should have just sent Shihan the first time they came. None of those reporters would have come back after.” Giyuu quietly says.

The mental image of the last Elite Four member beating up the reporters with a stick is decidedly invigorating.

Sabito shakes his head, but the edge of his lips quirks up in a little smirk. “Don’t tempt me. I might just place him under rescue team operations again soon.”

And why is the one deciding not Giyuu?

The power hierarchy within the Hoenn league is a mess to say the least, most of it due to the too-rapid cycle of fall and rise of Hoenn Champions approximately nine years ago.

A little history lesson:

Nine years ago, one after another, the disciples of the resigned Water Gym Leader Urokodaki Sakonji took to the league and won – one _against_ the other.

At first, it was the likeable but less than impressionable Makomo who took the throne. She lasted a year and a quarter on her throne, precisely the age difference between her and the boys, before Sabito came up with a lopsided grin and single-handedly took her down in one fell swoop.

Giyuu would like to say that Sabito’s toppling is entirely accidental, because they never noticed the cameras rolling when they begun their usual impromptu spar. All of Hoenn came together thereafter to peer-pressure him into an official challenge. Giyuu was bullied into the position of Champion that practically opened its arms wide to him and embraced him with spine-cracking force.

The rest, they say, is history.

As a result, Hoenn has three Champions, even if Giyuu is by himself the official personnel, most reluctantly at your service. Sabito is the charismatic one who commands most of the proceedings of the region, Elite Four matters and Ever Grande Security included. Makomo is the diligent right-hand woman who gives a sarcastic quip and necessary ball-grabbing whenever either boy toes the line of stupid. Then Giyuu is the figurehead, tall, dark-haired, handsome – just your regular wall flower there to be at gatherings and be trusted to have the sexuality of a rock and not be swayed by women with painted lips attempting to ruin the face of the League.

Giyuu still likes to think he’s been tricked into playing decoy for Sabito’s women-attracting mannerisms.

It’s fine. Just let him retire in peace.

“Giyuu!” Sabito calls out to him at the front gates, just as Dragonair’s about to take flight.

Giyuu blinks. He turns to look at his friend, befuddled.

Sabito wets his lips.

“…Tell Tanjirou that Makomo and I say ‘hi’, okay?”

He amends himself under Giyuu’s flat look. There’s no way it’s just that he’s calling him out for.

“…Alright. You caught me.”

Sabito smiles, irritably exasperated. Yet, there’s a touch of concern to his expression.

“Tell him not to mind what the media’s been saying so much. Lend a listening ear to him, if you can. Kid’s got it rough, what with the recent incident down at Lilycove.” He comments.

Giyuu nods without understanding.

Lilycove? Why is he drawing up a total blank?

Trust Sabito to figure out what his always apathetic expressions mean, because disbelief dawns upon Sabito’s turquoise eyes when he realizes Giyuu’s confusion.

“You… Don’t tell me. You still don’t know about the incident.”

“I am not an oblivious, ignorant fool.” The immediate denial comes to Giyuu’s lips.

“Don’t be stupid. I’m not calling you that.” Sabito scowls, still looking like he wants to smack Giyuu a new one as he stares at him in pure undisguised disbelief. “You’ve been living under a rock. Wait. That’s old news that I’ve known all my life.”

Giyuu is offended. Thank you very much.

“Do you even know _why_ code red has been triggered so frequently recently?” Sabito asks him like a kindergarten teacher would a very small child.

Giyuu frowns at him.

“Tanjirou’s a ‘very accomplished person of Hoenn’. His living situation with Urokodaki was compromised due to the reporters, and because of that, he has moved in with me non-publicly. Code Red is being triggered due to those foolish vultures wanting a statement from one of the three of us on said ‘potential junior’.” The more he says, the more the words taint his mouth leaving a bitter aftertaste. Somehow, the verbalized version of those newshawks’ intentions towards Tanjirou only did more to intensify his grudge against them.

Sabito looks at him with a dawning epiphany that increases the strain on his face.

“…As for his specialty?” 

“Tempura. And salmon daikon.” Giyuu nods to himself with full confidence.

For reasons unknown, Sabito clamps his mouth shut with a longsuffering look in his eye. Giyuu stares impatiently as his friend reaches up and drags a hand down his face with a long inhale.

“You—You’re really – I’m speechless.” Sabito finally says, dropping his hand.

He makes a dismissive motion with his hand at Dragonair.

“Go home. Go search up Tanjirou’s name. I’m not talking to you in the state that you’re in.”

Giyuu sways lightly in his seat when Dragonair listens to his original trainer, taking flight into the skies. He makes an apologetic coo when Giyuu leans forward to grip his ears, large blue eyes swirling in their sockets to beg non-verbally for Giyuu’s forgiveness.

He knows as well as Giyuu how unforgiving Sabito’s rage can be. (The other’s not a Dragon Specialist just for show.)

“Whatever.” Giyuu scowls as he makes to turn Dragonair in the direction of Secret Islet.

He’s no longer in the mood for picking berries.

-

Tanjirou is still not back when he withdraws Dragonair.

Thinking back on it, Sabito does make some sense (Giyuu thinks this with the most venomous grudge in his heart. He will force Sabito to have another bite of his apparently lethal food as a show of good will the next morning when he sees him).

He still doesn’t even know where Tanjirou goes or what he gets up to in the time Giyuu goes to work.

To his vexation, he doesn’t even feel up to making a good dinner for his roommate to reward him for his work.

Giyuu pulls himself up over the vine ladder. Lets himself into his secret base. Tears off his working clothes in exchange for some comfier ones. And he pauses, dead still, to stare at the little scrumpkin that had been camouflaging all this time within the line of stuffed toys as one of their minion comrades.

“You.” Giyuu means that in the most deadpan manner, no anger involved.

Nezuko does not remove the paws on her eyes.

Remembering how this Mew is supposed to be Tanjirou’s ‘sister’, Giyuu quickly pulls the elastic of his slacks over his goods. He nods absently at her, even if it fails to register.

“I’m dressed.” Giyuu says, grave as a funeral.

Nezuko peeks over a paw that drifts away from her eye. With visible relief, the pink-eyed Mew withdraws both paws and glides away from her perch on stuffed toys podium.

“Nezuko,” Giyuu calls out, feeling a bit awkward. Nezuko croons softly in reply, floating around him. “Where is your trainer? Did Tanjirou head out to get the groceries?”

Nezuko blinks wide eyes at him. She shakes her head, gliding back to put her little behind on the edge of the soft toy podium again. Then, floating away, she pats the spot she’d been on with one paw.

“Home…stay? Homestay. House sitting. Tanjirou got you to watch the base in case anyone was to come.” Giyuu deduces.

Nezuko nods, her feline expression somehow growing warmer with approval as her pink eyes twinkle.

Giyuu keeps the bulk of his attention on her as he reaches for the television remote.

“You should have done something to entertain yourself. My house is not meant to be a prison for any of you.”

Nezuko blinks slowly but doesn’t respond.

She drifts away from her line of toys, slow as the breeze. Giyuu watches her settle into his side on the couch, a respectable distance away. Not wanting to be a presumptuous jerk, he nudges the remote control in her direction, watching pink eyes flicker with interest. Nezuko’s quick to leap on the remote buttons, pink blanket-cape falling around her as she turns the channels with as much interest as a child. She quickly regains awareness of herself, looking at Giyuu apologetically.

“Go on.” Giyuu nudges her verbally. “I’ll mind my own business in the meantime.”

Plugging his laptop in to the portable battery, Giyuu waits out the nerve-wrecking loading time of his laptop. He types ‘Kamado Tanjirou’ into the search engine, and then… and then…

Nothing.

Because Giyuu’s as stupid as they come, and he forgot his portable wifi has finally expired just two months back in the solace of this same base. He hasn’t been feeling human enough to brave the crowd as Hoenn Champion Giyuu either.

He scowls, feeling utterly down on himself, till a light brush against his hand startles him into a jolt.

Nezuko peers at him, tail withdrawing from where it had been touching him.

She croons in confusion, cocking her head at the computer screen where her trainer’s name is spelt in bold.

“Yes, I’m the fool who hadn’t heard of Kamado Tanjirou till before our meeting.” Giyuu notifies her crossly, daring her to say anything else. And what about it?

Nezuko only tilts her head before leaping off the couch into a near fall. Giyuu has his hands half-raised, understandably betrayed when the Mew floats away from where he’d been ready to catch her, slim tail wagging triumphantly behind her as she does so.

…Isn’t this what they say felines do? That they turn their arses for you to smell when they like you?

Nezuko tosses him a look over her shoulders at him, making a noise that sounds as if she wants him to follow, and he does so reluctantly.

For the first time since Tanjirou has invited himself into his Secret Base, Giyuu deigns to cross over to what he’s termed Tanjirou’s side of the base.

The base within the Secret Islet is in no way big. It is a one room base, just your typical wide rectangular space that’s nothing special beyond its seaside view. However, with Tanjirou’s smart use of traditional separators, he has successfully manipulated the room to seem bigger than it is. Only when they are sleeping then are the separators up. Otherwise, normally, the traditional separators are shoved aside and folded neatly into the neighbouring wall, leaving the room twice bigger than what he’s by now gotten used to.

Tanjirou has a small luggage which he has brought with him alongside the trainer’s backpack. In it, Giyuu noted before that he has a few valuables such as top-grade headphones, a few of Urokodaki’s books, and maybe just a few sets of comfortable clothes. Other than that, he’s never really seen Tanjirou take out anything else from this luggage.

The fact that Nezuko’s now crouched down atop the side of the toppled luggage, tail flicking enthusiastically, really isn’t the most comforting sight for the heart.

Giyuu halts.

“You want me to invade your trainer’s privacy and search his things for something.” He spells out.

Nezuko mews delightedly.

Giyuu stares.

“You must be the world’s best sister.”

None the wiser to his sarcasm, Nezuko puffs up with pride and floats down to try and shove away at the top of the luggage. She fails spectacularly, of course, and Giyuu ends up having to blacken his hand in this dirty deed too. He wonders if even a kid as innocent-looking as Kamado Tanjirou has pornography in this trunk of his.

What’s revealed when the trunk’s top is flung open is basically just about what Giyuu expects. But… there are CD’s. Stacks and stacks of CD’s, all labelled with dates and locations.

Giyuu truly hopes the boy doesn’t end up being a Hoenn-renown porn star or something of the like.

Is that what Sabito means by ‘Lilycove’?

Staring dismally at the bunch of CD’s in his grasp, Giyuu looks at Nezuko.

“What now?”

Nezuko huffs and takes a color-coded CD off the middle of the stack.

Giyuu’s relieved to have Tanjirou’s sister be the one who does the deed… If he ends up finding out something incredibly private about Tanjirou that is Not For His Eyes (ignoring the fact that his hands are completely blackened now), at least he’ll have someone to point his finger at.

Giyuu helps himself to a seat on his couch, watching Nezuko crack open the plastic to shove the disc into the old player. Leaning back, he prays to God that Tanjirou will never find out about this, and that Sabito will learn how to shove that arrogant stick in his ass somewhere else. (Honestly. Just because he knows something about Tanjirou that Giyuu doesn’t.)

Nezuko fumbles with the remote and gives up. Pink eyes glow with psychic as she fast-forwards the video which shows a crowd of people that contains no Tanjirou, as far as Giyuu’s concerned.

Wait. Is this Slateport Contest Hall?

The ‘play’ button shows on the top-right corner of his television screen.

Giyuu watches with his eyes wide as the emcee announces the entry of a new contestant.

_“Next up! We have the infamous pair from Kanto who everyone has been waiting for! Hailed as the Boy Genius, he is the master of all contests from Cool to Tough! At times sweet and at times surly, she is the legendary pokemon which most can only dream of seeing! Let’s welcome! KAMADO TANJIROU AND NEZUKOOOO!!!”_

An explosion of sparkling green and pink confetti comes from the top, an obvious difference in comparison to the previous contestants’ lacklustre entry.

This is logical, given the ‘Master’ sign that is displayed in full on the screen hanging above the stadium.

But from the applause, to the people’s brightening faces, even down to the judges who were supposed to be non-biased but can’t help leaning in forward discretely – it is clear how much of a difference there is in terms of the reception. As if everyone had come that day just to be able to catch a glimpse of Kamado Tanjirou and Nezuko; no one else mattered and everyone else paled in comparison.

Tanjirou stands there before him on the other side of the screen.

Dressed in a green and black checkered haori which he has never before seen him don, he’s clad in a fetching burgundy yukata underneath. Black socks under red-laced sandals, dummy coal-black sword by his side, and a stripe of similarly green and black checkered fabric tying back half his hair from his face, every single detail on him looks meticulously thought out and goes towards painting the image of a revered samurai off duty.

Nezuko floats by his side in the same outfit she dons now, with the exception of a pink sparkling brooch over the neck of her blanket-cape and a large jewelled ribbon clip on the side of her head.

_“Yo! Tanjirou! We’ve been waiting for you!” _Roared a sudden group of young voices.

The camera twists abruptly to show a gaggle of young children who were seated in the front seats, their eyes squeezed in effort to make themselves heard, all helping to carry the large banner that dwarfed them in size and—

Gasp. Is that Kochou Jr. over there?

She’s never going to let this go, if she ever knows he did not know about Kamado Tanjirou.

Giyuu has his teeth sinking into his lower lip, eyes wide and bloodshot, as the camera pans to Kamado Tanjirou, who—breaks out into a laugh.

It’s okay. He’s seen it numerous times. Except – Tanjirou’s laugh this time is bright and brilliant, even if it goes unheard. The edges of his eyes crease as they close in laughter.

He looks at home right there, under the sparkling stage lights of Slateport Contest Hall, illuminated by the thousand light sticks that the audience yielded.

Giyuu feels a sharp pang of jealousy. He’s quick to comfort himself with the knowledge that he’s seen Tanjirou with his hair down, eaten Tanjirou’s best cooking, and – and is living with the apparent Contest Legend to date.

Tanjirou turns to the radiant Nezuko, whose eyes have closed from the light but is twirling excitably around the stage, filling it with her squeals.

The audience goes quiet as Nezuko twirls forward to meet her brother half-way by his shoulder.

Tanjirou smirks, one hand raised to steady the headmic as he looks Nezuko (and by extension the quick-handed cameraman) in the eye.

_“Are you ready, Nezuko?” _He asked his sister lowly.

_“KYAAAAAAA!!!”_

Giyuu refuses to be part of that rowdy crowd of fangirls Heisnotpartofthem—

Nezuko’s mew by his side echoes the one which resounded through the stadium.

Tanjirou _beams._

_“Then, let’s give them a good show! Starting with—” _

-

By the time Nezuko mewls and jumps repeatedly on his arm to signal him to hide the CD’s before Tanjirou returns, it is too late.

Giyuu has become an honest to god, hopeless, head over heels in love, Kamado Tanjirou fanboy.


	4. Chapter 4

Giyuu is awake before the first pelipper cries, mostly because he has been up awake all night.

Tanjirou is in the same room as him. Tanjirou is breathing softly in his sleep – sweet, little soft breaths infused with the tiniest muffled mumble every so often.

(How hadn’t he noticed them before? Maybe because Giyuu sleeps like the dead.)

_Kamado Tanjirou_ is still asleep and Nezuko is not, when Giyuu sneaks up on his tiptoes to extract himself from his pile of blankets. (To make or to not? He went with not, choosing instead to pull all blankets with him onto the ground. He’s equal parts ashamed of leaving Tanjirou to make his bed for him, and regrets not picking up the very important skill of making his bed quietly enough to not wake precious sleeping roommates. Sabito had never been precious.)

Nezuko cracks open an eye.

She nearly leaps out of her perch at the doll shelf at the end of the separator.

Giyuu is flattered by how charming that must speak of his sleep-deprived appearance.

He places a finger at his lips and shushes her.

“Tell Tanjirou I won’t be having breakfast today.” And maybe dinner. He really should have just fled the day before – before that awkward dinner where he’d spent blankly staring and nodding along to whatever Tanjirou said.

“It’s not what you’re thinking.” Giyuu declares grimly to the worried hum of regret which Nezuko makes. “I just need to know more about Tanjirou, _if_ I am to provide properly for him.”

Nezuko considers that. She accepts it with a contented mewl and goes back to padding her way around her cushion.

Giyuu is almost envious of her for being able to retain the peace of mind to sleep, because he most certainly isn’t.

A mixed bag of emotions has been bombarding him throughout the whole night. Namely,

“Did you know.” Giyuu declares flatly to his Dragonair when he summons him.

The serpentine creature gives him an odd look for his sleep-mussed hair, ungamely pjs, and even the water blue blanket he is hauling into the grass with him.

“Tanjirou is a world-class Contest Legend all along.” Giyuu divulges.

Dragonair cocks his head, giving him a look that spells a hesitant, _You…didn’t know?_

“Great.” Just great. Giyuu rests his face in his palm as he settles into his perch atop Dragonair’s back. “Apparently, I was the odd one out in this world who’s never heard of Tanjirou’s name.”

He doesn’t think he can bear to look at Dragonair’s reaction. Still, he puts his hands together and thanks the gods that Tanjirou’s charm has reached all walking these lands but him. As a fan and senior, Tanjirou’s success is more critical to him than anything else.

He rests a palm on Dragonair’s back.

“Take me to the League.” Obviously. Where else will he be going? Giyuu faces forward. “I’ve got some things that I need to do.”

The stars twinkle at him faintly in the distance as the skies begin taking on a splay of colours.

He thanks his lucky stars that he is the rightful Champion to Hoenn and has the keys to Ever Grande City. He _does not _want to be the one ruining the League’s face sitting in a Mcdonald’s at the break of dawn in his pj’s, hoping to use their wifi.

Albeit, he will if he has to, though.

-

**<Breaking News!: Kamado Tanjirou a disciple of Urokodaki’s House of Waters? Several Contestants speak out!>**

-

Odd circumstances have led to Giyuu finally staying in his customary **Champion’s Room** (yes, titled in bold. With gold lettering carved into the exterior of this door) with a mug of hot chocolate, deep circles under his eyes, and his laptop being the sole source of light in this room.

It is 5.30am in the morning.

Giyuu unrepentantly scrolls through the pages, typing in the name, ‘Kamado Tanjirou’.

The immediate news that pops up is not reassuring.

-

**<Kamado Tanjirou, has a ‘fearow’ for his next entry?>**

-

The tone is mocking and half-incredulous, so much so that Giyuu has an urge to drop-kick said reporter for it.

Too many news is coming up.

He feels a migraine building at the number of inside-jokes that are doing nothing for his nagging suspicion that Tanjirou’s second pokemon _definitely_ isn’t a fearow.

He settles instead for typing into the search engine the question:

‘Who is Kamado Tanjirou?’

A great many number of articles come popping up on his server in an instant.

Giyuu scrolls, and he clicks on the most credible one which he’d been personally interviewed by before.

-

[**‘Who is Kamado Tanjirou?’** By. Yushirou

Kamado Tanjirou. Contest Legend. Boy Wonder. KamaTan. Fire God. _Hi no Kami._

For the past year, we’ve been gradually hearing more about this gentleman and his incredible Mew.

Being one who has always shunned the contest scene as much as possible (unless it’s Tamayo-sama. I’d fully support you if you ever decide to take on this venture, Tamayo-sama!), you can only imagine my confusion when it comes to all these mentions of spears (‘Kama’) and flames I’ve been hearing about. ‘Are we going hunting?’ I’d once asked a venerable colleague of mine. She being the arsehole she is, she’d laughed and asked if I’m volunteering myself to be the bait.

As the incredible and supposedly lucky being I am, I have somehow miraculously stumbled upon a chance at an interview with KamaTan even without knowing who he is.

Before we jump straight into the details, here is a little background knowledge which I’d scourged up hoping not to trip over anyone’s egos (*coughUzuiTengenandhisharemcough*):

(KamaTan fans, roast with constructive words, please. Be sure to reflect well on your God.)]

-

Basically, in short:

Tanjirou is amazing.

He is the sort of amazing that takes all five master contest ribbons and pins them up onto that one single blanket-cape constantly worn by Nezuko. He virtually hangs the stars in his fans’ (Giyuu’s) eyes, and that notion is further reinforced by the Dance of the Fire God done at his first contest in every region. (Giyuu stares, breathless, like a dumbfounded chatot for a great many moments. Then he presses ‘replay’. And promptly breaks it.) KamaTan is love. KamaTan is life.

With fans like that, it’s no wonder he’s ranked first in contest coordinators amongst all regions, with numerous friends to boot.

Alright then. <strike>(Even if Giyuu knows he will spend at least the next month sneaking in Tanjirou Videos whenever he can during work.)</strike>

Next on the list of things to search:

Tanjirou’s relation to Urokodaki.

Giyuu narrows his eyes marginally at the screen and scourges up a timeline of the incident which some fan has put together out of consternation.

Things basically started out shortly after Tanjirou’s announcement that he will be immigrating to Hoenn from Kanto as a result of his father’s passing. That was nearly a month ago, just a short quarter of a year after he had touched down at Hoenn in fact. An article with the following headline was released to the public:

-

**<Contest Legend Kamado spotted leaving the house of Champion Raiser Urokodaki Sakonji? Contest Coordinator under Fire after corruption is suspected of his victories!>**

-

Accompanied by a photo of a harried-looking Tanjirou with the cutest cartooned black mask over the lower half of his face (Is that a chimchar’s butt swirl?), rushing out of the familiar dojo doors.

Honestly, with the way they’d written the news article, you’d think he was suspected of seducing Urokodaki into his bed or something.

Giyuu calmly and quietly scrolls down the entire page, confirming it is just a copy of the news page that has already been taken down. 

He opens up another tab. Searches up the fate of said company. To none of his surprise, it has already been ruined and torn down to pieces.

Let it not be said that KamaTan fans are the culprits of that. Because Urokodaki dojo has produced many disciples who have risen far and high beyond the power of media; it’s just everyone seems to have forgotten that amidst the whole “all of Urokodaki’s disciples have etched their names into the Hall of Fame!”- mumbo jumbo.

After the League, there are always greener pastures to go to.

Seeing as if his seniors have long since worked together to lay calamity upon this particular firm – most likely with the help of Makomo and Sabito, from behind the shadows – Giyuu mentally sends a thumbs-up their way and continues surfing the web.

Of course, things could not have gone on easily after that.

-

**<Contest Coordinator comes forward with evidence of corruption behind scenes>**

**<Judge Naton deemed guilty of bribery. Estimated Amount Loss: $35 million pokedollars>**

**<A Commentary by Head Judge Ashley on the current Contest Spectacular Legislations:**

**“The System right now is extremely capricious.”>**

-

The news toe around the topic of Tanjirou, careful to never mention him again.

Giyuu’s vexed to find that this particular ballgame had shifted to an entirely different one surrounding _politics _(bleh.) and subtle intonations hinting at ridiculous concepts of _what could be_. (As if Tanjirou even _needs_ Urokodaki's connections to win. Bitches. Just his strut alone when he's taking a stroll through town can earn him billions.)

His head pounds with the lack of sleep.

He just wants to this to be over and done with so he can go back to sleep with no Tanjirou’s on his head. Dinner was supposed to be barbeque today with his voracious blackholes for pokemon.

Without thinking much about it, Giyuu punches in the keys for “Fearow Lilycove”.

The first image that pops up for a video makes his mind go blank.

Wha… wha?

It’s a zapdos.

A picture of a zapdos and Tanjirou in an epic side-glaring profile, determined twist of his lips going downwards.

It’s a picture of a _Zapdos_ snuggling up to Tanjirou’s back, wings embedded in the loose fabric of green checkered sleeves, head pressing up against the side of Tanjirou’s shoulders and untameable burgundy mane squashed against his hanafuda earrings.

To top it off, there’s the captions on the top:

[Fire God Tanjirou’s Next Partner is a Zapdos?!]

“……………”

Giyuu shifts his mouse and clicks.

Without thinking, he recklessly flings open the pandora box which everyone's been raving about.

-

[Breaking News!:

The weather girl slash news reporter, Uzui Suma (aka. one of Uzui’s three wives), tightens her jaw with the most discrete show of tension when the papers are passed to her.

“E-Ehh – we have just received breaking news from our reporters down at the Lilycove Contest Site! As you might have already known, the outbreak of the Urokodaki Dojo rumours surrounding the current top ranked coordinator – Kamado Tanjirou – has caused him to withdraw from all contests and media presence up till this Monday, when the Lilycove Contest Site released an official statement on Kamado’s entry in its Normal Tough Contest.”

“Now, regarding said Legendary Tamer, we have just received some startling news regarding the events ongoing at the contest site. At the stadium, we have Makio-san. Makio-san?”

The news flash to a blonde lady with a bad hair job holding a mic to her front.

“Yes, I hear you, loud and clear.” She ignores all rowdy screams behind her defying her words. “This is Uzui Makio, at the contest site.”

“At the moment, we have been waiting precisely eight hours since noon, when crowds of Kamado Tanjirou’s fans have already started gathering.”

“Things have been hectic in the area ever since early dawn. Lines of fans have been queuing up in hopes of getting one of the long-sold-out tickets, and even now, still remain outside in hopes of getting a glimpse at him. Just earlier this evening, at precisely 16:00 hours, Kamado Tanjirou’s arrival was met with a large amount of commotion, during which fans dashed to meet him and were beaten back by the Contest Hall’s security.”

“Yes, you heard me right.” Makio stresses, gaze solemn as she held the camera’s attention. “The security of Lilycove Contest Hall had stricken the fans back and mistreated them terribly despite Kamado’s demands for them to stop. Kamado Tanjirou has also posted on his social media for the first time since the start of the Urokodaki Dojo Commotion. He sincerely apologized and begged his fans to prioritize their own well being.”

“We heard from here that someone entirely unexpected has shown up at the stadium.” Suma clutches her papers nervously, leaning forward and unwittingly putting her busty chest in full view. “Would you please care to explain in detail who and what has shown up?”

“Yes, of course. Contestant Hi no Kami Kamado has always been known for his victories with his legendary, pink-eyed Mew. But this time, he participated in this Normal Contest not with his only known party member, but a Legendary _Zapdos_.”

It’s clear despite Makio’s attempts to seem fully solemn, how her eyes widen still from disbelief despite her presence there.

Previous footage of said zapdos screeching majestically as it spread its wings, bright patterned scarf around its neck beating wildly mid-flight, was shown. Evidently edited footage of much happier, more recent times, Kamado Tanjirou was smiling in the distance, large checkered sleeves swaying in the winds as he directs his Zapdos around, fingertips carving out a trail for sparks to follow.

On screen, Makio flinches again as a fan knocks into her.

The stadium is frighteningly dark in contrast to the previously multi-coloured stagelights illuminating the vicinity. Many a fan are in panic, running for the exit.

“All – had been going well up until the security barged in on the stage and demanded Contestant Kamado to get off the stage – o-or risk getting his Legendary confiscated.” Makio winces at another bump to her shoulder. She struggles to speak through all the crowd’s frightened evacuation. “Lilycove – announced the entry of Kamado with his ‘fearow’, I quote – They claimed legendaries are forbidden in the Great Hall of Lilycove—”

Sarcasm paints her tone till another bump nearly sends her falling face first.

“OI. Come back here, you arsehole! You want a piece of me?!” She roars at the round fan who bulldozed his way through without concern.

“U-wah-wah-wah—” Suma wails in a desperate attempt not to panic covering up her colleague’s mistake. “A-And—What is the current situation on your side?”

Makio takes a deep breath.

“It’s chaos.” The news reporter isn’t even bothering to put on a polite facade at this point. Staring into the cameras, she declares, “Lilycove Security was apparently dumb enough to use metal batons on the fans. Zapdos was there in his pokeball. I’m sure he saw what they’d done when they used it on his trainer’s fans. So when the security leapt out in an attempt to grab Kamado on the arm, batons out and on the ready…”

Makio waves a hand at the ruined stage.

“…Zapdos flipped, and he flipped _hard_.” She scowls.]

-

[“Why did this happen?” The little girl sniffles, tears dripping down her eyes. “M-My brother—all Kiyoshi-Nii-chan has ever wanted to do is to earn some money to s-support us through school. H-He… he admired Kamado-Nii-chan so much! W-Why – did he have to end up in the hospital for _that_?”

The girl wails, loud and clear as she buries her eyes in her hands. Her other brother holds her with a disappointed look on his face.]

-

[“This is arguably the biggest incident of Hoenn since the Rise of the Champions years back. Casualties number by the dozens, most of them the security staff of the contest hall and fans. This Incident has made the Contest Spectacular Management thoroughly reconsider the allowance of legendary pokemon for its contestants—”]

-

[“This isn’t KamaTan’s fault!” Shouts the young girl with her pigtails, frowning. “We heard it, just as we were coming back from toilet break! Lilycove Hall… Lilycove Contest Hall was intending to use KamaTan as a means to gain publicity all this time! KamaTan was set up for this!”]

-

[“The police are currently looking into the incriminating evidence provided by one of the eyewitnesses. They suspect that both Kamado Tanjirou and the Lilycove Contest Hall are victims of foul play by an unidentified third party. The police force strongly urge Kamado to step forward to aid in their investigation—”]

-

[From the renown underground hacking association, Benzaiten, an anonymous account user posts: “One of our PA’s have managed to recover a recording from one of our secret cams. You may find this useful for your investigation.”:

_Bzzt._

“—_I’m sorry_.”

The voice drifts over the mechanical cackling of the audio system.

Shattered bits of glass lay all around the stage where the camera had fallen sideways.

In the faint light of the moon – the only source after the thousand-dollar spotlights shattered into fine grains – the blurry silhouette of Kamado Tanjirou’s figure can be seen turning away from the fallen, electrocuted figure on the ground. He reaches up and clings onto the twitching wings that attempt to blow him away from himself, a wretched gargled scream making its way out of the zapdos’ beak.

“—It’s fine. It’s fine! Zenitsu! So—don’t worry about it, okay?” Tanjirou’s tone is as if he is smiling, pained despite the cackling sparks dancing up his back.

Zapdos – _Zenitsu_ – is still for a great many moments before letting out a pitiful self-depreciating whimper.

“What! It’s just a contest! Do you really believe someone the likes of me wouldn’t be able to charm my way back into their hearts very soon?”

Tanjirou lets out a laugh that sounds entirely forced.

Zenitsu stills and gives him a look that is unreadable from this angle, letting the sparks fade out to enable his trainer to hold him against his front.]

-

[“—woah!”

The fan cam follows the yellow blur into the skies, green checkered sleeves bellowing behind them.

Zenitsu takes to the skies and linger for a time, letting out a war-like screech alongside a wrathful eye to offer for the fallen security who had been standing in their way.

Tanjirou pauses and glances back at them for a long silent moment as the curve of his brows gentled to a mournful crease, lofty and graceful as a Champion standing up upon a mountain.

“Wait! Don’t go, KamaTan—”

It feels like the death of something when Contest Legend Kamado Tanjirou turns away, burying his fingers into his partner’s feathers.]

-

**<HI NO KAMI MISSING. WHEREABOUTS STILL CURRENTLY UNKNOWN>**

**<Lilycove admits to rushing the hiring process and fails to account for security members' history of violence>**

**<"The announcer's cue cards never mentioned fearow. Kamado Tanjirou's entry paperwork was filed with the correct species." A mistake made by the emcee? Officer Jenny thinks not!>**

**<"PLEASE COME HOME!"** \- the large board which a sobbing fan holds up is blown wide in the picture.

**The fans' outcry for their idol. KamaTan's fans take to Lilycove Contest Hall to protest.>**

-

Giyuu falls asleep to troubling news, a recording of better times playing on his laptop.

-

[KamaTan Makes a wish upon a Jirachi:

The buzzer beeps.

“Now then, if you can have any one wish granted for you by a Jirachi, what will it be?”

There is a moment of silence as the camera pans to Ubuyashiki Kagaya’s guess of “Contests for a Lifetime” for his partner, and Kamado Tanjirou’s written answer on his whiteboard of – …_something_. It is not sure what the scribbled drawings are.

Yushirou, one-time emcee for this ragtag gathering of coordinators, gym leaders, elite four, and civil servants working with pokemon ie. Jenny and Joy, squints at Tanjirou’s illegible drawings.

He points.

“Oi, Coordinator Team. You’re not getting any higher from your zero score.”

The audience bursts into laughter at that very blatant observation. Kochou Shinobu and Uzui Tengen seem amused to find a team with worse compatibility than theirs.

“Even if you say that, I’m trying my best here.” Tanjirou sulks, pushing his lower lip out in an almost pout.

“Yeah? And what _is_ that abominable mess of drawings you have there?” Yushirou entertains, folding his arms.

“I’m glad you asked!” Tanjirou puffs up much to Yushirou’s undisguised annoyance, which only brings more smiles to the studio. “This is the island home of my dreams; One filled with barbeque pits and clothes which I make for my pokemon! It’s embarrassing to say, but my dream is to live a peaceful Hawaiian-esque life by the seaside in privacy if it can ever be granted by a Jirachi. That is precisely the wish I’d make!” He declares in all earnest seriousness.

“…It really _is_ embarrassing.” Yushirou deadpans. The only reason why he’s not a Yamask yet is because he’d demonstrated clear proximity with Everyone’s Favourite before his crass use of language.

“I am caught. The mindset of the younger coordinators these days really is hard to comprehend.” Ubuyashiki Kagaya remarks patiently with a faint chuckle.

“Am I really?” Tanjirou asks, blinking owlishly at his partner.

“It’s not really that unexpected if you think about it.” Elite Four Sabito tells the cultured gentleman casually, still seated by his side. “There’s just something about this generation and its top elites always wanting to go into retirement as hermits. In reality, we’ve got Exhibit A being a couch potato back home and watching this live.”

The fact that his reference to everyone’s Champion is said completely void of emotions somehow only elicits more snickers.

“Tomioka-san is Tomioka-san, but… Is there a reason why Kamado-kun might seek to do the same?” That is Shinobu’s very subtle way of saying Tomioka Giyuu is a hopeless, son-of-a-bitch.

“Eh?” Tanjirou blinks, looking up with mouth slackened in thought. “Well, ever since I was a child, I’ve always forced myself to win contests so as to be able to pay for Tou-san’s medical bills, but…”

“O-Oh.” Shinobu is knocked off her guard at that. She brings her fingertips together, eyes lowering in repentance. “…Please pardon my intrusion. Is it a sad story?”

“Ah. Right now, it’s no longer the same though. I’ve got plenty of money and contests are fun. So please don’t worry!” Tanjirou lifts his hands in reassurance.

“Learn to have a little humility, will you?” Yushirou squints at him in a deadpan. “In other words, you’re rich and you’re a papa’s boy who never got the opportunity to camp out in the wilds. …That’s why you want to live out and alone on an island?”

A few bewildered laughs burst out at the emcee’s uncouth attitude towards all things tactful.

“That’s right! Although not exactly!” Which is it? Tanjirou smiles playfully, oblivious to all their befuddlement. “Come on. Just try and imagine what it’d be like if there_ is_ a place where high profile people like us can tunnel away and live out like average people. I’d totally like to barbeque again someday without being chased – even if that flatters me – and sing songs without management complaining of reputations.” He winces.

Yushirou rubs his jaw. “Well, from what you’ve said, that sounds like a typical Secret Base to me.”

Tanjirou blinks. “You think so?”]

\--This is alternatively the odd beginnings which inspired Giyuu’s own creation of a base on the Secret Islet.

Months later, (precisely this very moment) he looks back at this video with dawning horror and realizes belatedly: He has not seen the preciousness of this being before him the first time he’d watched this video.

Giyuu makes the resolution to make Secret Islet the perfect home for Tanjirou, if only because the teenager so obviously needs a place to go. And where else can be better than the very home he’d inspired the creation of?

-

Eight hours pass by.

Sabito is displeased but not very surprised by the fact that his friend spent Precious Working Hours cooped up in the depths of the Champion’s Bedroom.

Sure, it’d involved a check-in on the security cameras turning back to five in the morning. Another weaver had to be signed with the on-site guards to make sure no news slip about the ghost of the Champion appearing bed-raggled, still in his pj’s and with one (1) grass-wettened sheet worn over his head like some bastardized version of a bridal veil. Shihan had cursed colourfully and Sabito, as the sole male of The Household, was forced to hold him back from kicking physically at the Champion’s door.

But all that said, at least they know Giyuu’s whereabouts.

(…Then again, he’s having second thoughts about this whole thing.)

“Do you think he’s repented sufficiently enough?” Sabito asks as Kanae ducks out for another challenger that'd defeated Shihan.

Makomo doesn’t even look up from her paperwork.

“No amount of repentance can be sufficient if it does not spur one to motion.” She quips wisely.

Nine hours pass.

Ten hours pass.

When eleven is just on the brink of approaching twelve, Sabito shrugs on his peachy-white bomber jacket in preparation to give his childhood friend a little beating over the head.

If past experiences with Tomioka Giyuu are of any indication, twelve hours is about the best time for harnessing productive ventures before Giyuu lurches into stupidity and more denials for the sake of it.

His pokenav beeps abruptly then with the sound of an incoming message, drawing both Elite Four’s eyes.

Sabito’s blood runs cold.

-

For them, it begins something like this:

“I’m sorry, Inosuke.” Tanjirou apologizes despite the very painful smack that still twinges through his cheek. “I was a bit preoccupied by my own thoughts.”

The glare which the masked torchic gives him is full of gruff loathing.

_“Don’t come finding me if you’re not here at heart. How am I supposed to get stronger with a half-assed opponent?”_ Huffs the weaponized torchic, pecking away to adjust the binds that tie long wooden stakes (_“Swords. Call them swords, damn it!”_) to his sides.

Tanjirou goes quiet when Inosuke plops down right beside him.

_“So. What’s the deal with him?” _The manly torchic lets out a puff of ember as he jerks his head at the still spluttering Zenitsu.

_“Lovesickness.” _Zenitsu summarizes aptly with another hateful spat. The Zapdos drags itself out of the mud he’s been tossed into – pardon him, unceremoniously _whacked_ into. _“Just wait till I get my hands on you, you stupid bird. I’ll show you who can fry a good flaming chicken.”_ He curses, ignoring every truth about their current match up.

_“Peh! I’d like to see you try.” _Inosuke sneers. Zenitsu bristles and lunges forward at him with a loud war cry. Inosuke ducks, and Zenitsu unglamorously gets his long beak stuck in the ground, jolting as he lurches to try to get it out. No use. It’s lodged too deep.

Inosuke makes sure to rub the soles of his chicken feet smugly into the Zapdos’ face. Every “tap, tap” of his feet results in the whacking of those two wooden stakes over Zenitsu’s thin face.

_“You wanna talk about it?” _Inosuke offers thereafter.

Tanjirou, for his part, gives him a wet-eyed look.

“Inosuke, you really do care afterall…!”

_“Forget it. I’m gonna go back to train!” _The torchic leaps up with immediate speed. So red is he, Tanjirou believes he’d be fire engine red if he is a pokemon coloured anything besides red.

“A friend of mine has been oddly distant ever since yesterday.” Tanjirou rushes to get it out before Inosuke can fully excuse himself. He drops his head into his arms, curled up into a ball. “I think Nezuko might have something to do with it. I’m still not sure if I’ve done anything to offend him.”

He frowns sadly.

“…I wonder if I made him dislike me.”

Inosuke stops and looks back.

_“This friend of yours.”_ He takes a step forward. _“Is he strong?”_

“Yes?” Tanjirou blinks. What does that have to do with everything?

_“Then, let’s go and face him right now!” _The torchic lurches up with much haste.

Zenitsu groans. _Of course_ that’s the torchic’s concern.

_“He’s treating you like an asshole even though you’ve done nothing to him, right? And you told me humans duel to air their problems out!” _Inosuke is all hellfire and adorable ball of flames. _“In that case, what we’ve got to do is clear. I’ll even let you bring me along for once!”_

“N-no. We can’t, Inosuke.” Tanjirou frowns, pushing Inosuke down, and absently pats down the resulting flames that lick at the edges of his jacket. “Giyuu-san is the strongest in Hoenn. We can’t go up against anyone of that level. And definitely not him.”

_“Are you saying that I can’t beat him?!” _The torchic explodes in flames.

_“Oh, God! For heavens’ sake, stop bolstering him!” _Zenitsu whacks Tanjirou over the head the moment he’s freed from the ground. Albeit, he also pulls Tanjirou out of danger by shielding him from the fire spin. _“Do you see why we shouldn’t associate ourselves with this wild flaming chicken? Do you see why we shouldn’t have left the Robot’s Love Nest?! This is why I told you we should have just stayed low and slacked the whole day with Nezuko-chan!”_

“Zenitsu, you’ve been saying things I don’t get for a while now about lovesickness and love nests and all – …could it be?” Tanjirou blinks, realizing despairfully. “Giyuu-san was actually troubled because of my presence there? …It can’t be helped… since he’s got to be an adult with needs too.”

He fusses.

Zenitsu turns his eyes heavenwards like he never knew a zapdos could.

_“Oh god.” _

The pokenav vibrates suddenly with earth-shaking tremours, bringing all three’s attention to the device.

Inosuke leaps back with his wooden sword-stakes on the ready. (_“What the hell was that?!” _He curses.) Zenitsu flounces and presses his head interestedly over Tanjirou’s shoulder to squint down at the tiny words Nezuko had taught him. And Tanjirou blinks down at the incoming call from Sabito, the stern-faced senior who he had been messaging infrequently every now and then.

“Hello?” Tanjirou picks up the call. (Zenitsu presses his head flushed against the nav.) “This is Tanjirou speaking.”

-

Eight hours following the impromptu nap he has unwittingly slipped into (because no amount of sleep is ever enough for the weary), Giyuu blinks awake with a pounding migraine in his head.

What he wants in this moment is blissful oblivion – and yet, none of that at the same time.

Three days.

Three days of complete ignorance, horridly and greedily stuffing his fat ugly face whilst Tanjirou is lost, confused, and by the gods, possibly crying on the inside as he makes the onigiri’s for Giyuu’s lunches.

Giyuu lets out a gruelling moan as he flops over face-first into his hard pillow (cos, you know. Past Champions apparently like all things hardcore, sleeping arrangements included).

The alarm which he’d set beeps clamorously.

He wants to do something for Tanjirou, and yet, he doesn’t want to screw things up.

Screwing things up is practically his middle name at this stage though. Why else do you think Sabito and Makomo are necessary fixtures of the Hoenn League, if not to keep Giyuu from running away? He’s so used to his chauffeurs handling all matters of the region for years on end, he can’t remember when he last had a responsibility as great as Kamado Tanjirou.

Precious goods are meant to be handled like precious wares. No failure is to be tolerated.

Sapphire eyes harden as the blue gaze shifts from dreary to aware.

Giyuu pulls his creaking body into a seated posture, ready to fight the world for Hoenn’s national treasure, Kamado Tanjirou.

Tanjirou is <strike>precious</strike> innocent, and he has got to make everyone in Hoenn see that. If it means starting a couple conversations with a few (okay, many) unsavvy people, Giyuu will try (_attempt_) to not offend them as they do that, just so he can rope a few more allies over to Tanjirou’s side.

Tanjirou needs to feel safe in order to return to the world. Tanjirou needs powerful friends if he is to be protected from whatever shitty third party the media has been going on about.

Luckily for Giyuu, he knows exactly the right people to do that.

-

It begins with a single message.

[You have one (1) unread message from **Kochou Shinobu (Rustboro Gym)**:

Sabito-san, Sabito-san. Why is it that Tomioka-san is asking me about Kamado Tanjirou-kun, I wonder?]

Then comes the avalanche of headaches:

[You have one (1) unread message from **Uzui Tengen (Mauville Gym)**:

Oi, oi. This sure is a flamboyant way of declaring that Tanjirou’s a student of the Champion Raiser, don’tcha think?]

[You have two (2) unread messages from **Uzui Tengen (Mauville Gym)**:

Pardon us for reading this message over our husband’s shoulder. This is Hinatsuru.

Just to clarify, is this the Champion’s way of declaring that Tanjirou-kun is ready to come out to the media? We will make appropriate preparations at once if that is the case.]

[You have one (1) unread message from **Rengoku Kyoujurou (Lavaridge Gym)**:

Wonderful! Wonderful!]

[You have one (1) unread message from **Tokitou Muichirou (Dewford Gym)**:

‘Because my age is close, I’d be close to Kamado Tanjirou’…?

…who is Kamado Tanjirou again?]

[You have one (1) unread message from **Kanroji Mitsuru (Mossdeep Gym)**:

Sabito-san! Have you heard?! Tomioka-san is going around interrogating everyone on their ties with KamaTan! Look at this, look at this!]

[Screenshot:

Champion Tomioka: Kanroji.

Kanroji Mitsuru: Hih T-Tomioka-san? What brings this sudden conversation?

Champion Tomioka: With regards to Kamado Tanjirou, what do you think?

Kanroji Mitsuru: W-What I think?

Kanroji Mitsuru: Erm. I.

Champion Tomioka: Are you not a fan of him?

Kanroji Mitsuru: NO! I MEAN

Kanroji Mitsuru: ILOVEHIM

Kanroji Mitsuru: I LOVE HIM THE MOST IN THIS WORLD]

[You have one (1) unread message from **Iguro Obanai (Fortree Gym)**:

Tell your bestie there to shut up. Don’t talk to me. Also, fuck off. 🖕🏻]

[You have one (1) unread message from **Kanroji Mitsuru (Mossdeep Gym)**:

[Screenshot (2) + (3):

Champion Tomioka: …

Kanroji Mitsuru: T-Tomioka-san, is there a problem with that…?

Champion Tomioka: We are comrades.

Kanroji Mitsuru: E-Eeehh?

Champion Tomioka: Kanroji, how do you feel about joining a revolution?

Champion Tomioka: With Tanjirou as the centre of our group, the intention is to convert all non-believers over to our side and to make Hoenn a safer, more pleasant place to live for KamaTan.

Kanroji Mitsuru: That… does indeed sound nice, but… such a cult-like mentality, didn’t KamaTan-chan tell us before to live independently and have our own happy lives instead of being all obsessed with him?

Champion Tomioka: …

Kanroji Mitsuru: Also, Tomioka-san, I didn’t know you were a Kamado Tanjirou fan all along too! If KamaTan-chan ever has a contest again, let’s both go together by all means, okay? I’ll share all the best filming spots with you!

Champion Tomioka: …

Champion Tomioka: You are a good person, Kanroji.]

[You have one (1) unread message from **Kanroji Mitsuru (Mossdeep Gym)**:

Please don’t blame me for being curious. But… could it be possible…that Kamado Tanjirou-kun actually is living together with Tomioka-san at the moment? Kya]

[You have one (1) unread message from **Shinazugawa Sanemi (Petalburg Gym)**:

Get your fucking friend off of my ass already! I don’t need his fricking hair-taming shampoo or his roommie’s ohagi!

Who the fuck wants to make friends with a guy like him, even?!]

[You have one (1) email from **Benzaiten**:

He has contacted me through the public site. Asked if I would like to join him in his cult, quote Kamado Tanjirou Protection Squad unquote.

What should I reply to that?]

“…………”

Sabito is reasonably silent as he stares down at the surface of his non-stop, beeping pokenav for a long while, face entirely unreadable despite this situation.

“Sabito?” Makomo tilts her head to the side in muted concern. She, similar to him, has gotten her own round of messages as Giyuu’s unfortunate second chauffeur in charge.

Kanae pokes her head back in with a few frazzled strands poking out from her flower hairpins.

It’s clear what she wants to declare just as Makomo flicks a contemplative stare at her.

Sabito smiles at the third Elite Four in the series. He raises a thumb to his neck and jerks a smooth line across it.

“Do _your best_ in _crushing the challenger so he won’t make it._” The Elite Four’s leader dips a nod to her. “I’ll settle Giyuu in the meantime.”

“Wait, Sabito-kun—?” Kanae’s voice dies out behind him as he hastens his pace towards one Water Champion’s room.

Sabito picks his nav up and makes a call.

-

“—EH? Giyuu-san is missing?!” Tanjirou’s eyes bulge at the news he receives.

_“That’s right. We thought for sure that he’d be with you, given that he’d never came for work this morning.” _Sabito sounds startled. _“Did he not mention where he’d be going?”_

“No. Come to think of it, Giyuu-san has been acting strangely ever since yesterday…” Tanjirou lowers his eyes to the ground, a bead of sweat trailing down the side of his face in thought. “Nezuko also said that he went out much earlier than usual this morning, without telling anyone where he’d be going. What if…?”

A cold chill goes down his spine.

“What if… this is because of me…?” Tanjirou shudders, barely registering Zenitsu’s croon as he shuffles closer against his back.

Sabito is quiet for a long while before speaking up.

_“Whichever the case, I’d like you to come to Ever Grande City as soon as possible.” _Tanjirou nods, even though his senior can’t see it. _“If memory serves me right, Nezuko knows the move 'teleport', right? Can she bring you to Ever Grande City without catching the reporters’ attention?”_

“She should be able to.” Tanjirou eyes Zenitsu out of the corner of his vision. Already, the electric bird is huffing and readying his hind feet to take off into the skies, bringing them via secret route back to Secret Islet. “I will be there as soon as possible.”

_“Be careful and don’t slip up.” _Sabito answers back tersely before hanging up.

Tanjirou takes a deep breath and looks down at the curious torchic apologetically.

“Sorry. I might have to call off the training session. A situation of sorts has just come up. The really strong trainer that I just told you about is in some trouble, apparently.” He explains.

_“In that case, bring me along!” _Inosuke leaps up, swinging the two wooden stakes by his sides wildly on the way. _“The winner of the winner of a loser is the strongest winner! I’ll beat up whatever enemy he has for you!”_

Zenitsu looks at him from behind Tanjirou’s back like he’s the dumbest creature to ever exist. Tanjirou laughs, shaking his head lightly at the enthusiastically violent torchic.

“I can’t, Inosuke. Those swords aren’t a safe harness on Zenitsu’s back, remember?” Tanjirou smiles gently. He doesn’t even stop to consider putting Inosuke in a pokeball.

Inosuke stops to falter, slanted eyes furrowing all the more from under his mask before he finally lets out a puff of fire.

_“I’m not just my swords and my peck! I can do more besides that!” _He announces.

_“Yeah?” _Zenitsu chirps up. _“How about you lose those stake thingys of yours and prove that you can beat me without a cheat code? We’re in a bit of rush for time here.”_

Inosuke leaps at the Zapdos with all flames blowing and feathers bristling on their ends.

The end result? Tanjirou takes to the skies, one torchic stake-less in his grasp.

-

Giyuu has quite the productive afternoon by the time Sabito comes knocking up on his doors.

He does not even spare a moment’s time to open it.

Sabito wordlessly shuffles in to pass both of them a much-needed coffee from the café downstairs.

“You can’t do this, Giyuu.” He sighs after the first breath of life has been reinstilled into Giyuu’s meaningless, empty, now Tanjirou-ful life. Sabito looks at Giyuu sternly from where he’s seated at Giyuu’s rolling chair, legs folded like a Boss, making him wonder if this is how he’d seated nine years ago before The Toppling. “Making use of your relations as Champion; Forcing people to like Tanjirou when they do not; Starting a cult and taking initiative to brainwash people. That’s not what a Champion should do.”

Giyuu wonders what circumstances has accumulated to bring them to this standstill.

Giyuu wonders why he has to be lectured like a child in his dorm room.

“I’ve never been a Champion since nine years ago, when I took over the position.” Giyuu meets Sabito’s gaze unwaveringly. “At the least, now that I’ve got this responsibility, I should do all that is within my power to protect him.”

Sabito meets his eyes evenly, gaze sturdy despite most’s flinching, averting stares upon impact with Giyuu.

He lowers his voice to a whisper, quietly reasoning.

“Tanijrou does not need this, Giyuu.” Why is Giyuu discussing fan mindset with the past Champion of Hoenn? “To begin with, a large part of this had been about Tanjirou misusing Urokodaki’s ties to the contest judges to climb his way up. Which – by the way – I’m well aware he did none of those.”

Misty blue eyes turn dagger-sharp for a split second.

Sabito sighs.

“But if you were to use your powers right now at this point of time to do this, that would truly be destroying all that Tanjirou has been working to achieve so far, don’t you think? Whatever would the people think if it gets out that the Hoenn Champion, Tomioka Giyuu, has been working secretly to hold him up?”

Giyuu swallows the large bump in his throat at the very realistic problem he hadn’t considered. He looks down at his lap, missing the presence of the torchic doll, as he quietly contemplates.

“…Then, in that case, I’d just have to make sure that they don’t find out.”

“You hadn’t exactly been the most discrete of secret plotters, if you hadn’t realized.” Exasperation flashes across Sabito’s face. He turns the screen of his pokenav up.

“Then, I’ll just have to make sure to be more discrete so nobody will suspect. I will be more careful and take the scenic road developing my relationship levels.” Giyuu nods to himself.

Sabito looks pained.

“I’m not exactly asking you to court any of our gym leaders – God forbids anyone who dares date that school of carvanhas.” He mutters. “I’m asking you to prioritize Tanjirou’s feelings. If – Tanjirou ever finds out. What will he feel?”

“In that case, he just never has to find out.” Giyuu replies stoically.

“But if he does – and when he does?” Sabito pursues his lips, staring at him patiently.

It truly pains Giyuu to have to say this, but—“When that happens, I’ll pack up my stuff and leave Secret Islet to him. I won’t take Tanjirou out of a place he’s grown used to and put him in an uncomfortable situation.”

Sabito stares at him, bewildered.

“Oh Arceus, you’re really enamoured with him.” He utters, a complicated expression overtaking his face. It’s half-way fond and exasperated, consternated and that _I’m-finally-seeing-my-baby-grow-up_ kind of look which is just whaaaa.

“You’re mistaken. I’m not a cradle-robber.” Giyuu informs him very mindfully.

Sabito rolls his eyes.

“Hopefully, you’re not.” He remarks. Wow. His faith in Giyuu’s morality is inspiring. “I was deluded to think anyone would be capable of changing your mind. To think, I even went through the way of calling Tanjirou to get you out of this mindset.”

“…What.” Flat. Despairing. Giyuu peers up at him, betrayed.

The lamentable schemer before him lets out a wry scoff, lips twisting into a wretched smirk.

“If you can’t look at Tanjirou in the eyes after what you’ve done, you’re better off leaving the scheming to us.” Of course, Sabito has got his hand in this pie as well. Why didn’t he think that was the case? “Makomo and I had full control of the situation up until you entered it. To put it bluntly, I think we’re better off without you. You would have been better off living out on that little island of yours with Tanjirou without knowing a thing. That would have been the happiest option for Tanjirou.”

The edges of Sabito’s eyes crease bitterly like the villain Giyuu has always known his friend is.

His suspicions of Sabito had started somewhere around the age of ten, when Sabito first shoved him onto a salamance, kicking and screaming, to get rid of his height phobia.

Good to know that some things still haven’t changed, old as they are.

“Giyuu-kun, Sabito-kun~ Your little guest has arrived~~~” Kanae’s flowery voice calls out from out in the halls, bouncing off the hallways.

Giyuu meets Sabito’s smug gaze evenly and reaches out to flick his hair.

“You think too hard about it.” Giyuu tells startled eyes. “To begin with, they were the ones who started off this battle by touching Tanjirou, right? Duty as seniors comes first before all else.” He recites the third teaching of Urokodaki Dojo.

He’s always been the youngest one, protected. For once, that role looks like it’s about to be reversed.

Giyuu resists the urge to snag on Sabito’s pinkish peach lock like a droopy floppy lopbunny ear, just to wipe that stupid, dumbfounded expression off his rival (in the most submissive, I’ll-roll-on-my-back-for-most-days, so-help-me-clear-my-shit sort of way)’s face. He gathers his wits about him and rises to his feet to strut out of his imposing Champion Room, readying himself to meet—

_O-Oh._

It stings.

It hurts his eyes.

He really can’t bear to look Tanjirou in the eyes.

Sabito had every single thing correct. He takes back all his words now, please.

He can’t _bear _to look at the sheer radiance of it—

“Giyuu-san?” Tanjirou asks breathlessly.

It’s Tanjirou. _With a ponytail._ And there’s that Zapdos named Zenitsu still hanging off his back, Nezuko wriggling little paws at him in greeting as she floats to the side of Tanjirou’s shoulder, and in those precious arms, there’s—

_What the hell is that abomination, actually?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nobody likes this chapter and this story is a bust.
> 
> edit: 🎉 let's welcome the amazing artist, Otaku553-chan to the team!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🎉


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be honest. i still don't really like this version, but i'll never get around to posting otherwise so here you go
> 
> also, thank you to otaku553 for her art!!! it's linked as the next work in this series!
> 
> this whole chapter wouldn't have been possible without her and you guys giving me motivation along the way. so hopefully, somebody will like this update :')

His pokemon senses pings: _It’s a torchic._

The rest of what remains of his childhood dreams screams: _It’s not a torchic._

Giyuu’s mind, heart, and eyes tell him: It’s a torchic that’s been put through the hen-crusher, revived as a Mimikyu, which then proceeded to take on the form of the wrong pokemon and now dons a cubone’s mask out of self-consciousness for its wretchedness.

_Arceus, how can you let something like that exist?_

“Giyuu-san?” Tanjirou’s voice asks again.

He’s still disembodied from the point of Giyuu’s view.

_God,_ Giyuu thinks again, _you can’t possibly have created such a wonderful being and expect anyone to not look at him. _That’s way too unfair.

No. That doesn’t make sense.

Giyuu promptly grabs a hold of himself.

It is even more painful to never see Tanjirou’s features up close ever again. He’s been looking at Tanjirou on a near daily basis all this time, taking his saintly presence for advantage. With all the shamelessness in the world, he can do this! He can look at his idol without going weak in the knees…!

_O-Oh._

Sabito catches him.

Giyuu nods his curt thanks.

Tanjirou is standing before him. Tanjirou is there, with his burgundy locks pulled up into one high pony.

Strands of disobedient baby hair which have fled their restrains toy with Giyuu’s mind mercilessly, tickling the back of Tanjirou’s never-before-revealed, peachy, smooth, pinkish neck, inviting all to look at it. (Giyuu’s throat goes dry like a creep.)

Will Jenny let him off if he says it’s their fault for tormenting him?

“Tanjirou, you did a good job of making your way here.” Sabito, traitor he is, steals first word to Giyuu’s favourite coordinator in the world. (Granted, he only knows one, but.) “Were you seen by anyone on your way here?”

Tanjirou blinks large, round, innocent, precious (beloved—truncated) eyes and offers a slightly lost smile.

“Nobody has seen me! …I think?”

Oh god, even that uncertainty of his is camera-worthy. (Giyuu will forever save that away deep in the deepest, darkness, most private part of his mind.)

“Hah… Well, that’s good enough for me.” Sabito rubs the top of his head. “Putting all that aside, let’s leave these two together alone, shall we? Elite four duties are calling upon us.”

“Eh… eh?!” Kanae yelps, startling, visibly (and totally understandably) disappointed as she looks back over her shoulders at the adorable creature who is standing before Giyuu and – “A-Are you sure, Sabito-kun?” Then in a hushed whisper that’s still audible to Giyuu cos he can read lips, “Giyuu-kun’s sending us S.O.S signals again. Look! His pupils are darting around in Morse code! Are you really sure we should be leaving him alone?”

Blink. Blink. Blink. Pupil-shake. Pupil-shake. Pupil-shake. Blink. Blink. Blink.

No! Please don’t leave him alone! Giyuu’s heart can’t stand it!

Granted… if he doesn’t start getting used to being with Tanjirou alone from now on… how will they live together from now on?

(Oh god. OH GOD. He lives with _the _Kamado Tanjirou.)

“He’ll do perfectly fine.” Sabito lightly pushes her along with confidence that Giyuu does not feel in himself. “Come on. Let’s give them a moment of privacy.”

Kanae gets visibly excited from there, eyes lighting up with speculation as they dart rapidly to Giyuu and Tanjirou, before swivelling back to whisper hushedly – “………………………………” No. Giyuu can’t hear. She’s effectively covered up her mouth with her cupped hand as she murmurs something to Sabito. Whatever Sabito just gave an affirmative to, it makes her light up like a Christmas tree, almost as holy as the light Tanjirou radiates. Giyuu wonders vaguely what her whole deal is.

“………”

Giyuu shifts his eyes down to the blinding existence before his eyes.

He gulps. It’s audible to himself.

His heart’s thumping loudly, palms sweating worse than the first time he was pulled the literal curtains on in Makomo and Sabito’s twisted idea of Champion Presentation. The only difference is back then, he had a mountain of cupcakes to stress-nibble his way through, even as he was locked away in a glass box for everyone to oogle and drool over. (That place was called a live radio station.) This time, there is nothing but Tanjirou, all natural, all additive, and a definite one-way entrance into the cycle of The Fandom.

The more you look at him, the more endearing he becomes!

The more endearing he becomes, the more you want to carry on looking!

And thus begins the inescapable circle that will eventually lead to Giyuu’s doom, because he _can’t ever stop staring at Tanjirou’s sweet, innocent, precious face._

“—yuu-san? Giyuu-san!” Tanjirou calls out to him. “…Are you okay?”

Tanjirou looks over him in concern.

Giyuu wants so badly to scream at him to _no_, stop looking at him! He will never be a being as perfect or as wonderful as yourself! But instead, he nods mutely, awkward as a piplup drugged to its gills and says—

“You’re Tanjirou.”

“…?” A moment of silence.

Very smart, Giyuu.

“_Kamado_ Tanjirou.” Giyuu chokes out desperately.

It does not make much of a difference, because Tanjirou’s still looking at him in a curious and increasingly concerned way, the blurs of his pokemons’ faces flying under the radar in his overwhelming presence.

“…yes, that’s me. Kamado Tanjirou.”

Giyuu’s heart threatens to implode on itself with that one affirmation of _he’s here. _In _live._

Tanjirou lifts his hands and _places one of it on Giyuu’s arm._

“Giyuu-san, are you feeling okay? Did anyone do something to you in the time you were gone? Drugged you? Made you eat suspicious mushrooms off the ground?” Tanjirou asks, wholly serious.

“_I’m a fan. Please sign my arm for me._” Giyuu blurts out in response to a roomie’s show of concern.

They freeze, two famous trainers of the region standing awkwardly, one with his arm perched on the other’s, overlooked by the decidedly judging gazes of Tanjirou’s pokemon.

Then, Tanjirou’s abomination of a mimikyu-torchic chirps dismissively and leaps off Tanjirou’s arm.

His zapdos caws his agreement, lowering his mighty and very silky head down to make a smooth motion with his wings.

His eyes. Giyuu’s eyes.

Oh.

This stupid looking zapdos is telling him that he’s watching him. And he’s giving them a moment of privacy.

Does that mean Giyuu’s already unknowingly attained Tanjirou’s pokemon’s approval? Even though he will never be able to make Tanjirou happy the way he deserves to be?

Why are Tanjirou’s shoulders shaking as he lowers his head?

Tanjirou bursts out laughing, holding on to his middle.

“Did—Did you only just find out about me just now, Giyuu-san?” He’s having difficulty breathing.

Giyuu’s jaw drops slightly, alongside the arm he had lifted for Tanjirou’s autograph.

Tanjirou laughed.

His God… _laughed_.

…Does that mean Giyuu’s sense of humour has been elevated to legendary status?

The zapdos clucks.

(_“Are you dumb? In this context, obviously, he was aiming at a confession, you dumbass.”_)

Tanjirou is still flushed from laughter and attempts to frown, but his smile is still sweet on his lips as he only furrows his brows slightly.

“You’re mistaken, Zenitsu.” He says. “Anyways, Giyuu-san—”

Giyuu tenses when Tanjirou rounds on him. (What is he going to say? “Since you’re an ugly and socially awkward penguin, I’m not going to stay with you any longer?’ Which totally makes sense, but also sort of doesn’t at the same time, because why does Giyuu sound like the socially-anxious boyfriend being dumped in this situation—?)

Tanjirou brandishes a marker. He also pulls up his own sleeve, chuckling light-heartedly as he flashes his teeth.

“I also happen to be a fan of yours! Won’t you give me an autograph too?”

…oh.

_Oh._

Giyuu is _never_ going to wash his arm ever again.

-

All does not change after Tanjirou finds out about his idiocy, much as Giyuu is _dying _to throw his arms wide open and give his idol an all-encompassing hug.

Tanjirou teleports home with another amused lopsided smile at Giyuu, leaving Giyuu to wonder when he’d ever visited Ever Grande before. Giyuu is only marginally more productive thereafter, getting off his arse and challenging an exasperated Sabito to work off the tension.

(“Giyuu. Challenger. Right _there_. Can you wait a minute?” “You. I challenge you for the right to Sabito’s pokemon.” “Giyuu!” The trainer’s eyes roll back and he just about faints right there.)

It is a nice little workout, till he gets home and he realizes how much things actually_ have_ changed.

“Giyuu-san, welcome home! We sure didn’t take long to see each other today!” Tanjirou chuckles warmly, wiping his hands off his pants.

Giyuu nods with all the machismo in this world. He still can’t peel his eyes off Tanjirou. The world’s a blur around the light of his life, casting all who is unworthy into obscurity.

“I’m so glad, by the way.” Tanjirou points out later. He hides an amused smile at the way Giyuu secretly snaps a pic of their food. “That you’re safe. I totally thought it’d be Team Magma or Aqua who are after you when Sabito-san mentioned you were MIA. That gave me a scare.”

“The fact that you thought about them. Does that mean they were involved in the contest incident?” Giyuu questions, sliding his nav into his back pocket.

Tanijrou’s brows immediately curve down in a way that makes Giyuu want to smack himself.

“As I thought, you’ve heard about that event too…” Tanjirou trails off before catching himself. He shakes his head. “I’m not really sure, but… my past run-ins with them might have meant that I stepped on their tails once or twice…?”

He brushes the back of his head, sheepish.

Giyuu nods, totally not understanding in the slightest.

May have? Does that mean Team Magma and Aqua are the enemies and are to be taken down?

“A-Anyways, never mind about that at the dining table! We should talk about something else! Giyuu-san, did you really not know about me throughout the whole time we’ve been living together?” Tanjirou’s cheeks bloom red when he realizes how pompous he might sound. “I mean, not to get ahead of myself, but I’m pretty renown wherever I go. In particular, Hoenn.”

That is the humble man-speak for “I get chased and stalked by fangirls _all_ the time.”

Giyuu takes a large mouthful of fried rice that Tanjirou made and mumbles around cheeks full of food, “I live under a rock, thus so.”

“Eh.” Tanjirou was not expecting that answer.

Giyuu swallows.

“I’ve only recently come to terms with it myself.” Giyuu tells him evenly. “When you’re in denial, it’s a bit hard to see things around you. Forgive me for being ignorant to your circumstances. And your epicness, Tanjirou.”

“………” Tanjirou looks even more stumped, stray strands of hair sticking out from all over his bedraggled locks.

“Giyuu-san, you do realize that I haven’t done anything in the least to earn your respect? And I’m still the same airheaded roommate, Tanjirou, from before?” He asks in all earnestness.

The zapdos lets out a triumphant crow off in the background, somewhere. (_“See? See! He finally admits it!”_)

Nezuko mewls, sounding downright miffed with her brother for bringing himself down.

“You exist. That alone is enough reason for my respect.” Giyuu reasons, backed with Nezuko’s huff of approval.

Tanjirou gawps, and Giyuu snaps another shot with his heart’s camera. He swipes the last of his rice still sticking to the side of his own mouth, and uncaringly plops the grains into his mouth.

“When will you be returning to the stage?” Comes his next big concern. “Please let me break in my first contest spectacular experience soon.”

Tanjirou’s eyes are wide as he snaps out of his trance.

“Giyuu-san, you’ve never been to a contest spectacular before?!”

This particular conversation then promptly derails and lurches straight into the heart of aesthetics.

Giyuu nods along indulgently, watching entranced as this cute, endearing creature before him talks and fusses over the tiniest little aesthetic details on others’ pokemon that have _so much more potential_; and how he has to try so badly to stifle his own opinions because it is clearly Rude Coordinator Etiquette to point that out.

Fact I: Tanjirou makes all his pokemon’s decorations himself.

Fact II: Nezuko’s jewelled brooches were made from a combination of donations from irritable shiny Onyxes and kind-hearted Diancies.

Fact III: Tanjirou has always wanted a sewing machine to make his work easier and got it (from Urokodaki, tsk), but he had to leave it behind when he moved to Giyuu’s bachelor pad.

Giyuu honestly couldn’t care less about other coordinators or how many times they should comb their mightyenas’s fur to get a finishing glossy touch, but he does wonder about the sewing machine.

“I’m sorry. I’m talking too much, aren’t I?” Tanjirou shrinks in on himself, self-conscious now that he notices.

“No. It’s interesting. Go on ahead.” A tiny white lie can never hurt.

Kamado Tanjirou’s, Coordinator Type, Sweet-Natured, are precious and to be protected.

In the end, Giyuu has only affirmed what he has always known to be true, even when all matters of the world shifts and gravity changes just a little bit.

-

Giyuu is a changed man when he wakes up the next day.

He still is as devastatingly disastrous at cooking as always.

Giyuu abandons the attempts he calls ‘eggs’ and pretends he has only just woken up when Tanjirou joins him. He death-glares the eggs into submission as he watches Tanjirou set about making their breakfast on the grill, committing every step to memory.

“I’m sorry, Giyuu-san.” Tanjirou apologizes later, crestfallen. “I never got to ask for permission for Zenitsu to stay last night.”

It’s pretty illogical to begin with to expect a pokemon to stay all day in their pokeball. Even Giyuu lets his water types out for a soak every now and then.

“How did you manage so far without my notice?” Giyuu gets curious.

“Well.” Tanjirou pursues his lips. Giyuu spots the blatant glare directed at him from the offended zapdos. “Up until now, I’ve been letting Zenitsu out and about in the middle of the night, when we’re all sleeping. From time to time, I’d also leave him in Petalburg Woods, where Inosuke lives. There’s a gym leader we’re close to there, so I thought it’ll be fine…”

Wait.

“The mimikyu does not belong to you?” Giyuu blinks.

“Mimikyu?” Tanjirou parrots. He squints his eyes in confusion, tilting his head a full ninety-degree angle to the side. “I have a mimikyu?”

It takes a mewl from Nezuko before Tanjirou has a eureka moment.

“Ah, Inosuke! No, Inosuke isn’t mine. He is a wild torchic who was abandoned by his trainer!”

Giyuu automatically distances himself, bewilderedly narrowing his eyes in all dubious manners at this person who would call that _thing_ a torchic.

“I know, right? It’s sad that someone would think Inosuke makes a bad companion and do such a thing to him. I mean, he only occasionally tries to beat up approaching trainers with a stake. It doesn’t mean he’s _unsalvageable._” Tanjirou huffs, shaking his head with a deep-seated frown.

Giyuu wonders what delusional world Tanjirou is living in and makes a resolution it the first opportunity comes.

Actually, now that his eyes have adjusted a little to Tanjirou’s brilliance, he is also able to see a bit of the silhouette plus constipated expression of the Zapdos flanking Tanjirou’s side.

“…And I don’t suppose he does that to his friends as well?” He proposes.

“Well.” Tanjirou falls silent, then beams. “It’s all good so long as you know how to handle him! Inosuke’s still a good pokemon in the end!”

Zenitsu is shaking his head side to side so hard, he looks like one of those spindle toys.

“I see.” Blasphemy. This is blasphemy! Someone’s been taking advantage of his god’s kindness like he was! “One of these days, I should pay him a visit. You say he’s living in Petalburg Woods?”

“Oh, Giyuu-san, please, no.” Tanjirou shakes his head with mild worry, pursuing his lips. “Let me accompany you when you go! Inosuke might burn down the forest otherwise.”

Which begs the question as to why Tanjirou thinks he’s a good pokemon to begin with.

“Ah. But then again… on a second thought, Giyuu-san _does_ have a team full of water type pokemon, so that might not be such a concern—”

“It _is_ a concern. Let’s go together soon.” Giyuu unabashedly clings onto more Private Time with Tanjirou.

“Oh… of course!” Tanjirou beams.

It’s a while later when Giyuu is high up in the skies riding Dragonair, gradually recovering his mental functionality (Giyuu.exe had thoroughly degenerated in the presence of Kamado Tanjirou), that he realizes the dangers of _Tanjirou_ having been visiting _Petalburg Woods_ on a near-daily basis to deliver your personalized training bag to a _fire-breathing not-torchic._

Dragonair wrestles him to stay still and refuses to make a U-turn.

(This traitor certainly is Sabito’s pokemon to the core.)

-

Giyuu hates his job.

That is, to say, that he hates it to the point where he wonders at times in the middle of the night why he’d let himself be tricked into it.

A very wise interviewer had once laughed in the middle of a live television show and asked him,

“What does the Champion who everyone admires want the most at the moment?”

-With a strangely obnoxious wink and a side-eye to the bunch of fan girls seated around in the crowd.

Giyuu had taken the hint and gave the most honest reply to repel said species:

“Retirement.”

They’d laughed as if he’d just spoken something incredibly funny, leaving Giyuu in the universe of his own head, wondering: “Did I really just tell a joke? Do I really want to stay in this godforsaken position?” only to come to the conclusion three hours after this whole identity crisis that: _No. _He really doesn’t want any more of this media exposure, suicidal fan girls, Jenny-barricades whenever he makes a public appearance, and – oh god – the _paperwork._

But Tanjirou had smiled and said he is a fan of him though.

But Tanjirou had said he likes Champion Giyuu.

Giyuu will take down these foes before him, even if it kills him a million and a half times every time he etches his own signature on one of these lines.

“Hmph. The champ’s being unusually productive today.” Shihan remarks as he takes a seat and finally gets a break from the never-ending line of challengers.

“Isn’t he? I’ve already placed all our paperwork into his stack and he still hasn’t noticed.” Makomo sips on her tea. To Sabito, she suggests, “Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing that he’s found a new besotted love in Tanjirou?”

“That’d be nice.” Sabito begrudgingly concedes. “If that’s all he does.”

Shihan scoffs and harrumphs as he leaves to take an unallowed break. “Just leave me out of you brats’ business.”

-

The champion’s job comes with the load of bullshit also ungainly termed as “The Gym Leaders”.

Giyuu’s frankly more inclined to call them “The School of Carvanhas.” That one is good, in the eyes of all from Urokodaki dojo. Then, Giyuu’s got some more suitable substitutes for the lingo Sabito’s been using throughout the years too:

“The Flock of Skyraptors”. That’d certainly give Shinazugawa some representation. “The Cheap Loudred Rip-offs.” Get ready to be burnt, Uzui Tengen. Ah, but then Kochou Junior will be offended to be demoted to being labelled as cheap as the tea she’d turned her nose up on and refused to take a sip of. “The Cheap Loudred Rip-offs Camouflaging as High-End Goods?” Yep. That sounds better.

Key point is, The Rip-Off Loudreds are unfortunately, impeccably, and most grievously a huge part of the Champion job.

Giyuu has been passing on the duty to Sabito the whole time since he’s instated. But most painstakingly enough, he might finally have to make his first round about as Formal Champion of Hoenn.

“Be careful with those stacks of paperwork. You don’t want to drop any of them.” Sabito warns.

Giyuu is entirely mute as he looks Sabito’s Dragonite in the eye and tries very hard not to judge her for the totally unimpressive mailbag by her side.

She can do so much better in his opinion, now that he’s been religiously purified by one round of Tanjirou’s holy contest spiel.

“I will try my best not to rip any heads off or offend hugely inflated egos.” Giyuu promises his childhood friend, half a mind still set on coming back home tucked warmly away in that comfy-looking, unfashionable mailbag.

Sabito is wry as he stares at him.

“Sure. Let’s pretend you’re not on this mission for your own selfish purposes.”

Giyuu’s heart is utterly warmed by the amount of faith his friend has in him. This is why you keep childhood friends around, so they can barb you at every turn around the corner.

That said, how does Sabito know that Giyuu is out on a mission because he wants to justify Tanjirou’s thoroughly misplaced admiration for him? He wasn’t even there when Tanjirou said it.

Gasp. Can it be? Was he actually spying on them from the Ever Grande Cams when Tanjirou said that line? …No, Sabito’s a douchebag, but he’s not _that_ much of a douchebag.

That must mean Sabito thinks his objective for this delivery is something else.

Going by the line of Sabito’s thoughts, given that their last conversation had been on Giyuu’s stupidity and his determination to recruit all over to Tanjirou’s side…

Huh. What do you know? That actually _is_ a good plan.

“I’m going.” Giyuu looks Sabito in the eye, declaring solemnly.

“You’re embarrassing.” Sabito mutters under his breath, covering his eyes with an exasperated hand. “Sure. Go on ahead. Prove your manly dedication to Tanjirou and fulfil your motive.”

His friend has blessed him and his plan with his approval. That must mean this plan has a 75% chance of succeeding at least.

Giyuu nods and takes to the skies, dragonite and air accompanying him.

“Are you sure about this?” Makomo questions, ever the voice of reason by Sabito’s side. “My gastly had a foresight that this will not go well.”

A premonition from the Elite Four Ghost Master’s Gastly is decidedly more ominous than anything else.

“I’ve already done all that I could to prep him for it.” Sabito reasons defensively, heart thumping loudly in dread. “I’ve included a list of instructions for every gym leader. I’ve already gotten the warning written up in my nav. All that’s necessary is to send it now.”

“Uh-huh.” Makomo nods.

Even the birds above are silent as they judge Sabito for his mother hen tendencies. Giyuu’s virtually been reduced to just a glorified wingull messenger, hasn’t he?

“…I’ll be amazed if he still somehow manages to make a mess out of these circumstances.” Sabito admits, strained. “There’s just no way he can botch an errand like this.”

Makomo rests a comforting hand on his forearm. “…Aren’t you underestimating our disciple brother too much?”

Sabito raises a hand. He sets his palm over his face. He breathes.

_By the gods above_. Who was it that deigned to make him babysitter to a disaster Champion at the age of twenty-four? He’ll make them pay someday.

-

First stop. Rustboro City.

_City._

The name in itself hints at everything painful and everything that’s a culmination of Giyuu’s Champion life to date.

“Oh, Arceus, it’s the Champion in person!”

“Are you serious?!”

“KYAAAAA!”

“Somebody, hurry call Officer Jenny to stop the stampede!”

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Giyuu marches down the roads with one overly large Dragonite by his side, head pounding with migraine.

Shinobu’s Right-Hand, Aoi, is there to greet the army of “KYAAAAH”s and a stampede of fangirls which he’s leading when he presses the doorbell. She very professionally informs him to wait just a moment and closes the door on his face (How _dare_ her) before getting Shinobu to come to his rescue.

“Ladies – and gentleman—” She adds tactfully after Giyuu’s face morphs into horror at the low tenor of “KYAAA” he hears in the mix. “Would you kindly please leave us for a moment in private? The League is now conducting some _confidential _business.”

It shouldn’t have to be said, but alas, it did.

Majority of the town’s residents who have only been following Giyuu’s army due to pure curiosity wander off at that. They respect their city’s Gym Leader too much to not do so.

Then comes the genuine fangirls – and boy – who are that much lower in IQ and evidently a disturbing reminder of Giyuu’s own behaviour around Kamado Tanjirou.

“What makes you think you have the right?! You just want to keep Champion Giyuu all to yourself!” One daring girl calls out.

“That’s right! That’s right!” Nods and harrumphs the bunch of banshees in agreement.

Giyuu is _this_ close to putting his hands together in prayer.

“Oh, dear~ I think you might be utterly mistaken.” Shinobu _smiles_, and she rests a concerned palm on her cheek that is just leaking falseness. “Don’t you know? Tomioka-san comes here time to time for his constipation medicine.”

Wha—?

“He wasn’t able to come down to town to pick it up himself because of his _reservations _regarding his fans’ behaviour, so Sabito-san has been doing it in his stead so far. But it seems Sabito-san wasn’t able to come this time.”

“What?! Is that true, Giyuu-san!?” The rabid dogs turn on him, crazed with concern.

Giyuu does not remember giving anyone permission to use his first name.

“Yes.” He chokes out, half-strangled and at his wits’ end. “Please, let me die in peace.”

The town is horror struck by how much of an exaggeration that was. Champion Giyuu’s constipations are painful enough, for him to equate it to death?

That coming from the ever-silent Champion, that must absolutely hold more weight in water than the deepest ocean depths!

Kochou pulls him in thereafter and locks the door behind them.

“Thank you.” Giyuu is the poor stranded man in the desert given a drop of water after gruelling miles.

“Oh, no. Please don’t think I’m done with you just yet.” Shinobu chuckles demurely. Giyuu wonders what could possibly negate rescuing him from the dogs. She’s practically elevated to Saint status in his eyes. “So, Tomioka-san. I’ll have you know, I’m actually _quite_ close to a certain coordinator and his lovable pokemon. It _intrigues _me, frankly speaking – Exactly _what were you thinking when you decided to declare to the whole League that Tanjirou-kun is staying with you?_”

Giyuu freezes.

Oh no. So this was Sabito’s plot all along: To get the Ursaring to maul him to death.

Wait. Hold up.

“You’re close to Tanjirou.” Giyuu states.

“Yes. And what of it?” Shinobu’s smile grows a dozen times more malicious and pleasant in Giyuu’s eyes.

Giyuu looks at her with dawning realization.

“Junior, we do not have to fight.” He would have reached out to hold her hands in camaraderie if not for the fact that her lethalness has just increased x100 with the call of her nickname. “We are both members of the Kamado Protection Crew. Members should not fight each other. Infighting decreases the efficiency of the team.”

“Pray tell, what might you be talking about?” A twitching tick mark has successfully developed on Shinobu’s very well-groomed face at all this talk.

“What else can it be, but the Protection of Tanjirou and his pokemon?” Giyuu flatly announces, giving her his most deadpan stare.

(Oh, look. Another tick mark has developed.)

“Tanjirou requires more comrades to be on his side before he can make his way back to the contest world.” Giyuu has not failed to notice Tanjirou’s discomfort with the topic the night before. “To do that, we require more people with sufficient power to sway the mindset of the people. People such as ourselves, who see the truth of the world, who are willing to convey it to the masses.”

Shinobu still is pissed as hell but she pulls back her hands which have previously been tracing dangerously along the edge of her pokeballs.

“And how do you intend to eliminate the threat?” She asks.

Oh no, not another logical question.

“I may not have been there on the night of the Fearow Incident, but my gym trainers have relayed sufficient details of the matter.” Harrowing violets narrow viciously. “Team Magma and Team Aqua are the culprits who’d infiltrated Lilycove as part of an attempt to ruin Tanjirou-kun, isn’t that right? Do you intend to dig out both of these organizations at the roots in order to create a safer world for Tanjirou-kun’s sake? Do you have that sort of resolve, Tomioka-san?”

Shinobu’s lips curl up sceptically.

Hold on a sec.

Are they really?

Giyuu stares, stunned stupid.

Why is he only having this affirmed for him now, when multiple chances had been there for Sabito and Tanjirou to talk about it earlier? Tanjirou… probably didn’t want to put him in danger. That’s why he had been vague. But Sabito…

Giyuu pursues his lips.

Sabito.

Thinking back, Sabito _had_ said something about being on it, even though people are still happily badmouthing Tanjirou without a care in the world. That must mean Sabito’s plan is not something to do with the media he likes to mess so much with (jeopardizing Giyuu’s plan to smear all over his own image, that evil, evil villain). Which means…

Sabito’s plan… is to _crush _Team Magma and Aqua, once and for all – using Tanjirou as _bait_?

It’s a little like discovering one day that your poochyena isn’t really a poochie. The devastation of finding a darkrai in its place is crushing. Ohh. The pain.

“What is your answer?” Shinobu prompts, still smiling, lethal as a poison type.

“Sabito is on it.” Giyuu spoils.

Pause.

“…Pardon?” Shinobu cocks her head.

“Sabito. Is on it.”

Dead. Silence.

“Our job will be to protect Tanjirou from the masses in the meantime.” Giyuu slots himself into Sabito’s plans without a due. “While Sabito and Makomo are dealing with the two teams, our goal will be to ease the passage for Tanjirou’s return. Hence, the Kamado Tanjirou Protection Team.”

This all fits well and perfect into his Sabito-approved plan of personally gathering the gym leaders on Tanjirou’s side. Nothing beats sincerity like face-to-face communication and heartfelt conversations like these.

Shinobu is silent for a long gruelling moment in which Giyuu scratches the itch on the back of his thigh and tries his hardest to look perfectly reliable. He must not succeed, because Shinobu gives him a weighty look.

“…Let me get this perfectly straight,” Shinobu smiles, pleasant – and fake – as can be. “You’d like us to protect Tanjirou-kun from the media, all for the sake of his well being and happiness.”

Says Giyuu to the Slowbro: “Yes.”

“Well then.” Shinobu leans in with a twinkle in her eye, smile perfectly saccharine for Giyuu’s Kamado Protection Squad’s new PR manager. “It looks like we’re in agreement for once.”

Champion Giyuu secures one (1) Gym Leader to his team!

-

“This right here is the pokemon which Tanjirou-kun and Nezuko-chan has helped me catch the last time.” Shinobu presses a pokeball into Giyuu’s hands thereafter, for no reason other than to use him, apparently. “She has missed them both quite a lot. It’d be a great relief if you could pass her on to him.”

“I get it.” Giyuu nods.

No, wait. Actually, could you give him the limited insider’s info on that particular piece of Tanjirou story? Buuuuut then. (_It’s Shinobu._)

Something occurs to Giyuu then.

“Speaking of which, weren’t you afraid of furry creatures, Junior? How did you get acquainted with Nezuko?” Giyuu very tactfully asks.

Shinobu’s expression shutters off quicker than a paparazzi with his sneak cam.

“Take care of yourself, Tomioka-san.” She chillingly smiles.

Giyuu interprets that as Junior-speak for _Go die in a ditch somewhere._

He remembers her rebellious stage, when she was still cursing and kicking his shins. Really nostalgic there.

“I’m really—… really, _really_ glad that we’ve managed to find a common ground somewhere.” Giyuu forces out in a deadpan thereafter. You’ve got to start somewhere with your colleague’s only sister.

“You might want to change your expression to match the sentiment.” Shinobu smiles sweetly. It sure is like talking to a dex; there’s just no emotional fluctuation here. “Also, are you sure we really are on the same team? Like they said, the enemy of my enemy does not necessarily make him my ally.”

Champion Giyuu… gains one (1) Gym Leader on his Team?

“Let’s put our past behind us and work together for Tanjirou’s sake.” He declares flatly. “I’ll forget that you ever went through a puberty phase where you thought I was lusting after your sister so—”

“Tomioka-san.” Shinobu smiles pleasantly. “Please go die in a ditch somewhere.”

_Ouch._

(So many this Kochou doesn’t clean up his messes for him.)

-

Uzui and Mauville: (Why. Why does Hoenn have to have so many cities?)

“I’ve got to say. If you’re asking this to me because I’m Mauville’s Gym Leader and husband to Hoenn TV Broadcast’s top dogs, I’ll definitely say _no_.” Uzui leans in and smirks. “But if you’re asking me because I just so happen to be Tanjirou’s friend, that’s a yes for you.”

“…Therefore, your answer is?” Giyuu asks blankly.

“Yes, I’ll side with you. Learn to take a hint.” Uzui gives him a weird look as he leans back. Giyuu is warmed by that typical line so many has said because they care about him.

Upstairs in the afternoon skies, flying types soar as the neighbouring broadcast stations tried to take a shot of them.

_“And bringing here to you live, we have Champion Tomioka, who is currently having coffee with Gym Leader Uzui Tengen. The crowd is gathering, as hundreds fly to Mauville to take a glimpse at the rarely seen Champion—”_

The crowd screams in greeting when the cameras swerve towards them.

_“—It should be known to all non-Hoennians that this is a scene akin to catching Arceus in a hot tub on a hot summer morning.”_

“Gotta say, you really know how to make a flamboyant entrance.” Uzui comments, leaning back against the rooftop’s fences.

“I will exchange it for a penny in a heartbeat.” Giyuu immediately professes.

“I’ll usually take people up on such offers, but seeing how you’re being treated like a National Geographic specimen, I’ll pass on that.” Uzui snaps a finger and has his medicham break its protect (aka. convenient soundproof shield).

He turns to the crowd and smirks, giving a two-finger salute to which non-Mauvillians raise their voices in greeting to. (The Mauvillians are all desensitized to it, sending their none-too-subtle condolences to the local Champ.)

“Anyways, you said that the previous non-Champ approved of your plan?”

“Yes.” Giyuu doesn’t doubt that Sabito had predicted all of this in advance.

(If he has not, he’s obviously a major fail of a villain.)

-

Sanemi and the Petalburg City: (It’s calmer, thankfully)

“Get back here and give me a good fight, damn it!” Giyuu races off with a blank expression as the steel master flings things at him. “Didn’t I say I don’t want to buy whatever it is you’re selling me?!”

Giyuu dodges, but the metal tool snags Dragonite and bounces off her into his hand.

Giyuu stares at the fake metal eyelashes in his hand before turning to peer at the tiny white dot sceptically.

“What is it?!” Sanemi bursts out at the kid holding a lolly beside his gym.

[You have one (1) unread message from **Dipshit Motherfucking Champion:**

Tanjirou can be amazingly good at coordinating costumes.]

“Hell if I give a damn!” Sanemi crushes his nth pokenav into the ground.

-

Rengoku and Lavaridge: (At the top of a volcano, after Giyuu tracks him down by actually _speaking _to people. Who didn’t squeal.):

“Mmh! I understand very well!” Rengoku nods with a wide smile on his face.

He’s standing barefooted in the midst of a hundred degrees volcano with his most suffocating cape.

“Since you have defeated me and my pokemon, I’ll join you in your valiant attempt to defeat Team Magma and Aqua!” He points a hand resolutely at Giyuu. “You may add me to your team!”

Giyuu is sweating profusely.

Giyuu has reached dehydration threshold.

Empoleon lets out a gentlemanly huff as he catches his wobbling trainer, picking him up on his back.

“I shall follow up with you at a later notice. I’ll take my leave now.” Giyuu says to him stoically. That is Giyuu-code for _get me out of here. It’s hot. It’s suffocating. It’s hell. I’m going to die. Help me. _((ㆆ-ㆆ)) Empoleon chirps his understanding and proceeds at moderate pace, just slow enough to not be discourteous to Hoenn’s Fire Gym Leader.

Giyuu wins the battle, but loses as a man.

-

Tokitou and Dewford Town: (After the old grandpas at the Lavaridge Hot Springs had a blast laughing at him, and more fond old ladies down at Dewford point him in the direction of “Sweet little Ichirou-chan”):

“Tanjirou… Who is that again?” Tokitou asks two hours after Giyuu arrives and tries to brief him on the situation. “Well. You can put me in if you want. I’ll just forget several hours later anyways.”

The whole recruitment is almost unsettlingly anti-climatic.

-

[You have one (1) email from **Benzaiten**:

I’d recommend you to turn on your TV. Your Champion is doing something interesting.]

-

Iguro and Fortree City: (🐍🐍🐍):

“Get lost. Fuck off.” Iguro jabs a pointer finger at him.

“I’m just here to buy secret base items.” Giyuu assures him.

“Sevipers.” Iguro snaps his fingers.

The army and troop of sevipers which have taken over the city of fortree ever since the start of Iguro’s reign reveal themselves, hanging from trees, hiding in vessels, curled up over necks of people and – Wow. No wonder people of other regions like to say Hoennians aren’t normal. Giyuu has just found the reason for it.

He leaves dashing with multiple items on his arms, poorer by fifty thousand pokedollars which the store person hadn’t had the time to find the change for.

[You have received one (1) unread message from **Iguro (Seviper Gym)**:

Approach Kanroji and get ready to die. 🖕]

Giyuu wonders who he’s offended in his former life to warrant such rude texts.

-

Himejima and Sootopolis City: (In a pool of water where waterfalls are never stopping and where one Rock Gym Leader refuses to stop exercising, making his poor rock types flex their unearthly rock muscles, head deep in water)

“Namu Amida Butsu.” Himejima cries.

? ? ???

??????

Giyuu stares at him.

…Does that mean he’s on his side?

“I shall join the side of justice to fight the evils tainting our region.” Himejima declares tearfully.

Champion Giyuu has just added one (1) Gym Leader to his Team!

Oh, okay!

-

And at last, finally, Kanroji and the Mossdeep City Gym: (By now, Giyuu realizes most of them weren’t siding with him, but were instead siding with _Sabito_. It’s a cold, harsh world when you realize everyone’s been so thoroughly deceived by his evil villain friend’s façade. But here! He shall meet his only true ally, the one and only who sides with KamaTan, heart and soul, like he is—):

“Tomioka-san!!! I’ve been waiting for you!!!” Kanroji hops on the spot and waves her hands widely when she catches sight of him.

She _bounces_.

As KamaTan ally one, Giyuu decides he should be a good comrade and snaps his fingers for Sabito’s giant Dragonite to stand behind him as he stares down the town’s various lecherous men (drooling over her, really?)

They flinch before they run away, screaming.

“Oh no, it’s the Champion!!! Everybody, run!!!” That declaration draws unseemly attention.

“KYAAAA!!!”

Giyuu shrinks in on himself, shocked pikachu face and all.

Please, no, no. Somebody tell him it’s not happening.

“Shall we go?” Kanroji picks him up with an arm.

Wait. What?

(The Hoenn News Press gets a very popular photo that day, of the seventh gym leader carrying their champion bridal style as she marches back into her gym. Giyuu’s wearing the same deadpan expression as he curls into a tiny ball in her arms, not wanting to be seen by ambushing fangirls. Rumours of the Champion’s crippling constipation plus plausible marriage circulate.)

-

“—So, do you like pancakes? Ah, how about chocolate chips? Are you the chocolate chips type of person, Tomioka-san?!” Kanroji’s apparently very enthused to meet him.

By this time, Giyuu has been chased by skyraptors, forced to endure a gruelling trek up a fire mountain, forced to endure gruelling amounts of fangirls, and was even leapt by an avalanche of sevipers at one point. He looks at her, eyes wide, blessed to have someone who likes him.

“I can’t have more than one because Tanjirou is cooking. Can I bring some home for Tanjirou?” Giyuu asks as candidly as always.

“Eh?!!!” Kanroji practically explodes with flowers, because she presses her palms to her cheeks, flustered. “You think KamaTan-san would really like my cooking?!”

Giyuu nods with full certainty.

“Even if Tanjirou doesn’t like anything, he wouldn’t say anything mean about it—”

“—Because KamaTan’s perfect, and KamaTan’s life!” Kanroji recites the fanclub’s slogan together with him. She buries her face in her palms. “Kya! I can’t believe I finally have somebody to share this obsession with! This day is way too good to be true!”

That’s truer than she’d think, thinking back to the various encounters he’s had with the gym leaders. There have been tough times, and more than one time he’d ended up being stricken (by life-threatening panic. By sevipers. By skyraptors’ quick attacks. And by that wine bottle Shinazugawa had aimed after him.) But in the end, all will be worth it.

“I’m sure your pancakes will be good.” Giyuu stares at the pretty pancake art she’s making. “Can you do one of zapdos and mew?”

“Of course!” Kanroji beams.

She’s automatically added into the KPS, no questions asked.

-

The end of the day comes after almost a full day of chaotic travelling.

It’s good, Giyuu reflects, to be able to travel the region once more, even with screaming fangirls and stripping fanboys. That, he winces, isn’t such a good part of this whole event.

Nevertheless, he can’t remember for the life of him when was the last he’d marathoned the whole region as he stalks up the stairs, just in time to catch Sabito at the receptionist ready to leave—

“I get it.” Sabito lays a hand on his shoulder, face vexed, white bomber jacket under his other arm as he looks at Giyuu, frazzled. “You didn’t have to go to this extent to prove your point.”

What point?

“You are in the midst of crushing Team Magma and Aqua.” Giyuu stares at him with deep soul-searching eyes.

“I am.” Sabito grimly admits. “And you are in the midst of roping in the gym leaders for something more productive than sitting around.”

Welp. That’s one way of putting it.

Giyuu nods.

Sabito stretches a hand out.

“Are we good?” He asks.

Good? What’s not good? Giyuu doesn’t understand, because Sabito clearly gave his approval for his plan before all of this. Isn’t manipulating Giyuu into getting the gym leaders to hop onto the bandwagon just part of Sabito’s plans?

“When were we never?” Giyuu asks in return, taking his hand anyways.

“Good. Because I really don’t want any more diversions from the plan from now on. It’d be helpful if you could _listen to me _when I say to avoid doing certain things. It’d be really helpful.” Sabito looks close to a break down.

Giyuu still doesn’t understand. Was he so delighted by Giyuu’s first burst of productivity, he thinks it’s worthy of a tear-jerking moment?

Suddenly, Giyuu feels quite insulted by that.

“Let’s head down to the basement.” The Water Type Champion suggests solemnly. “I need a battle to work out the tension.”

Sabito’s nod comes jerking, lips pressed tight into a line as he follows after him. “Agreed.”

Somebody needs his butt kicked anyways for using Tanjirou as bait anyways.

(And from the perspective of Sabito: Somebody needs his ass mauled by a ursaring for all the PR troubles they will soon face. He knows. This is what he has coming for plotting to put Giyuu in the spotlight all those years ago. And then some with the whole plotting behind Giyuu’s back thing thereafter. But who could really blame him, when pokemon battling’s literally the only thing his friend has a future in then and now?

Poor Sabito.)

-

Giyuu loses. They go for a rematch and end up with a tie.

Giyuu curses Sabito’s unnatural line-up as he flies home on Dragonair.

Really. A giant Dragonite. A shiny gyarados. A Charizard with a mega charizardnite X. Along with those other dragon pokemon from the other regions.

One of these days, he really wouldn’t be surprised if the pokeball opens up to reveal a Dialgia, a Palkia, or even a Rayquaza, one that hyper beams his water-types to fried crisp.

Tanjirou is there outdoors, cooking in an all-natural stove as usual (Giyuu’s pretty sure Zenitsu helped to set the fire), when Giyuu touches down with Dragonair.

He looks up, and his eyes light up, mouth parting to talk – before he falters.

“Giyuu-san,” Tanjirou fusses in concern. “What are those things?”

Giyuu is currently carrying a huge number of items, thus Dragonair’s speed.

“Kanroji gave pancakes because she’s a fan of yours.” Giyuu solemnly passes the tuberware to him. “You might have to reheat it, though I don’t know how you intend to do so.”

Tanjirou cautiously cracks open the tuberware, and he blinks wide burgundy eyes at the life-like Nezuko and Zenitsu he finds.

“Oh!” He intones.

Nezuko, who’s been sprawling over the top of Zenitsu’s head munching on some berries, makes a curious mewl and floats over to see. She peeks over Tanjirou’s shoulders, and bright pink topaz eyes sparkle before she’s flying all around, squealing for the world to hear.

Zenitsu makes a ruffled huff, sounding offended, until Nezuko mewls something over to him.

He grudgingly stalks over to Tanjirou’s side, slightly overly plump bottom swaggering side to side as he does so. He makes an unamused grunt as he peeks over Tanjirou’s shoulder.

Giyuu has never seen a flattered Zapdos, but by the way those eyes went downward sloping and feathery face pinked, that is most definitely a satisfied zapdos.

“I’m – really flattered, that a gym leader is a fan of me.” Tanjirou’s cheeks warm as he looks down at the chibified attempt of himself in his contest clothes. (Why are there more versions of Tanjirou than the other two?) “Please relay my thanks to her the next time you see her! I’m really flattered by all this!” He repeats, beaming.

“Ah. But… Giyuu-san… those?” Tanjirou lifts a finger, looking for all the world like he wants to step in to help.

Giyuu releases all his furniture-holding pokemon.

Swarmpert and Milotic look like they have had enough of life as usual, being used as storage containers. Kingdra bounces mid-air despite her lack of hands; She’d been water-gunning Giyuu into the hospitals recently up till Tanjirou, hoping to set him up with any nice and pink-haired nurse she comes across. (Kingdra does not get the concept of multiple-lets, despite horsea eggs all hatching the same.)

Ludicolo dances, holding the sewing machine high above his head. Empoleon is his usual polite self and bows waist down with a flourish, hoping to out-rank Giyuu on Tanjirou’s affection charts. Tentacruel leaps forward, to the alarm of Tanjirou’s pokemon, before he begins his tickling of a whining Nezuko.

Zenitsu lets out an indignant squawk.

(_“Tanjirou! Listen to me, Taaanjirou! Going to such lengths to buy your heart – this guy definitely is No Good!”_) He jabs a wing in Giyuu’s direction.

Tanjirou ignores him and helps to steady the barbecue grill Giyuu sits down. He’s speechless, mouth parting and closing as he looks at the item of his childhood dreams with all the delight Giyuu had not so secretly been hoping for.

(_“…_”) A moment of silences passes.

Another squawking cry comes from Zenitsu, eyes bulging.

(_“Are you kidding?! Are you seriously getting bought over by him?!”_)

Giyuu doesn’t know what the zapdos is saying, but he has his manly pride to keep.

“You’ve been living here for nearly a month.” Giyuu averts his gaze. “Some hobbies can’t possibly hurt.”

“G-Giyuu-san—you really are so—” Tanjirou lets out a wobbly laugh and flings himself onto Giyuu’s front.

Giyuu goes stiffer than a board.

(Unnoticed by Giyuu, his pokemon all gasp. Kingdra looks at her trainer’s potential partner with gleeful eyes. Empoleon rubs his beak, contemplating what’s best next, to accommodate a potential life partner. Sinnoh failed to specify that in his butler training when they gifted him to Hoenn’s Champion. Swarmpert merely said “Swarm” and turned long-sufferingly, sympathetic gaze on Milotic.

Now, does everyone see what Milotic has to go through?)

Tanjirou smells good. He smells of nature, and his hair is silky soft beneath Giyuu’s chin, burgundy tuffs impossibly good to feel despite their usual untameable manner. Tanjirou is warm with his hands around Giyuu, and Giyuu is _this_ close to shutting down, especially when Tanjirou wrenches himself back suddenly.

“S-Sorry!” Tanjirou flushes and looks down, flustered. “I didn’t mean to impose upon your personal space!”

“…It’s fine.” More than fine, actually. Please encroach more on this lowly one’s personal space.

“I-I’m sorry!” Tanjirou apologizes more fervently.

Did Giyuu really seem so averse to his touches?

They stand in silence, Giyuu contemplating his life choices that have led him to this moment. (Evidently, all those moments of agony were worth it.)

He decides to pull out his next big surprise.

“Open it.” Giyuu presses the pokeball into Tanjirou’s hands.

“Hm?” Tanjirou makes a curious sound and lets the pokemon within out.

Giyuu still hasn’t gotten the chance to see it. He didn’t dare, in case Kochou Junior had went an extra mile and carefully instructed the pokemon inside to pin-capsule any non-Tanjirou person who releases it.

He gets the feeling of dread when he sees it materializing into something round and something lightly prickly in Tanjirou’s arms.

It’s… It’s…

A silcoon.

“Coon.” It lets out a horrendous cry, single large magenta eye turning on the trainer who is carrying it, and it vibrates with all the horrendous excitement that Giyuu totally gets but is starting to feel devastating trepidation over.

“Kanao! It’s been such a long time!” Tanjirou lights up like that’s the brightest part of his day. Even Nezuko quickly flees Tentacruel’s playful tentacles to bump into the cocoon pokemon and begin rubbing her cheek up against her.

Oh no.

Giyuu shares a moment of solidarity with Zenitsu, up until Zenitsu realizes the silcoon is a female and is well-deserving of his attentions as well.

Giyuu’s left abandoned by the side when the Tanjirou Team fusses over the Silcoon, who is now vibrating in badly withheld joy as she’s held in Tanjirou’s arms.

Tentacruel latches on to his next closest target – his trainer – and Empoleon places a comforting flapper on his shoulder whilst Swarmpert gives a depressingly gruff smack to his back.

So this was why Junior looked so amused passing her to him.

**Author's Note:**

> This story may/may not be continued.  
But as usual, do kudos/comment/bookmark/subscribe to indicate your interest.
> 
> Do check out the next work in the series for fanart :)


End file.
